self
APRIL 2020 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE 55Week
sixReadier for action
I’m slightly disappointed
that week six is all
about the relationship you have with
yourself. After all, I’ve been having this
relationship exclusively for nearly a
decade – what more is there to know?
In the end, it turns out to be a charming
experience. After a few weeks of
thinking about someone else, it’s nice
to spend time focusing solely on myself
again, reminding myself that no matter
who else comes in and out of my life,
this relationship lasts forever.
We finish by creating an intention
for our next relationship – a short
sentence in the present tense with a time
commitment. Then, we have to tell it to
some close friends and behave as though
it’s happening. So, here’s mine: I feel
excited, supported and loved in a
committed relationship with someone
I admire and adore by the end of the year
(I’m nothing if not impatient).
I’ll let you know how I get on.
dothegroundwork.comGet the ball rolling
Five things to do today to get you
ready for your next relationship1
Make a list of things that
annoy you in a relationship,
then ask yourself why they
irritate you. What need do you
have that isn’t being met?2
Identify the role you tend
to fulfil in a relationship,
(protector, homemaker or even
drama creator – be honest), then
pick another role to explore in
your next relationship.3
Consider a relationship
that ended and write down
the facts about why it ended.
Note any stories that you’re
making up about it.4
Set an intention for your
new partner. How do you
want to feel in their presence?
What will your relationship
be like? When will it happen?5
Treat yourself as you
expect others to treat you.Self-love exercises
Simple ways to show yourself
TLC as a single person
l Write down the qualities
you admire in other people, then
find examples of times you’ve
demonstrated these qualities.
l Plan a date night for yourself.
Take yourself out to dinner, buy
yourself flowers – whatever you
would like someone else to do, do it.
l Think back to what you loved
to do as six-year-old, take yourself
o on an adventure and do it.
l Set an intention for what you
want from your next relationship,
write it down and repeat it to
yourself every morning.
l Spend time appreciating your
body. Look in the mirror and find
things you love about your physical
being; its abilities and strength.