66 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE APRIL 2020
>>>Dossier
a coach, where your role is not to tell other people
what to do, but to engage and inspire them,’ suggests
Psychologies agony aunt Mary Fenwick. ‘You’re
motivating them so they want to perform at their best
within your team. And also, a great leader draws out the
possibilities that already exist among sta members.’FOLLOW YOUR LEAD
Fenwick mentions that she recently
read a blog post on the ‘27 dierent
leadership styles’, ranging from ‘the
servant leader’ to the autocratic,
the transformational to the
inspirational, the collaborative boss
and even the ‘Steve Jobs’ leader. ‘The
point is there are enough models out
there for women and we have to be
able to find ones that feel authentic.
Just because you don’t look, feel or
act like the leaders you see around you, that should not
put you o becoming a leader yourself.’
But how on earth are we meant to know what is
the best style of leadership to adopt if we’ve never had the
top job before? We hear a lot about adopting an authentic
style, but what if you don’t know what that is? ‘Reflect
on all the bosses you have worked with in the past. What
was it like working with each one? What did you admire
about them as a leader? Write down all those qualities.
Capture a little bit about what you didn’t like as well.
From that, you have the beginnings of a template for
the style that might resonate with you the most.’KNOW YOUR OWN WORTH
When we look at a female leader like Christine
Lagarde, president of the European Central Bank,
the word that springs to mind is confidence. I could
never be like her, I think. But leadership coach Hetty
Einzig thinks that we should look beyond the
confidence issue to the underlying truth.
‘When women say they lack self-confidence, it’s
often masking something else. Typically, what they
really mean is that they’re not quite sure what
direction they want to go in or how to get there. So,
rather than focusing on developing more confidence,
think about developing more focus and clarity.’
She cites research by Bain & Company, ‘Everyday
moments of truth’, which revealed that companies
are not helping women in this regard. ‘It emerged that
women weren’t having the right kind of developmental
conversations with their managers, they weren’t beinginvited to talk about their ambition and what they
might do to strategically develop their futures and
what the stepping stones are within the company to
the top job.’ So it’s vital that you grit your teeth and
initiate such conversations yourself.
The tendency in the absence of such support is for
women to blame themselves for not being good enough
to get to the top. ‘Impostor syndrome
is often referred to as a female trait
but I can assure you that it aects
men too,’ says executive coach John
Anderson MBE. ‘What happens is that
very capable individuals end up doing
more – working longer and longer
hours to prove to themselves and
everybody else that they are good
enough to get the promotion.’ Even
when the promotion occurs, it doesn’t
end. ‘It can turn into a never-ending
spiral – because they are talented, they keep getting
bigger jobs, and the fear of “being found out” drives
them harder and harder until they burn out.’FIND YOUR PURPOSE
Knowing how to talk about your ambition is another
essential skill in getting ahead, says Anderson. ‘If you
simply go around saying “my dream is to be a CEO one
day”, or “I want to be director of organisation X”, that’s
not going to engage other people. But if you know the
“why” behind wanting the job – and can say “I want this
because I believe that the changes I make will be to the
benefit of X, Y and Z” and “I have a vision for A, B and C”,
then other people will know you’re in it for more than
wanting to grab money and power. The latter doesn’t sit
well with anybody any more.’
Anderson is well placed to provide insights about
purpose – he has coached top-level athletes for the
Olympics and Paralympics, as well as high-level
military and corporate teams. He believes the easiest
way to identify your purpose is to pinpoint your core
values and beliefs. ‘What are the shining lights that
drive you? Those are the things that are really helpful
to work on when I’m coaching leaders. Although all of
us have values and beliefs, not all of us have them at our
fingertips.’ Could he give an example of what a ‘shining
light’ belief might be? ‘Sure,’ he says. ‘One of mine is:
“Life is not fair.” That has stood me in really good stead
as a leader over the past 40 years.’
Coaches talk about the importance of overcoming
negative beliefs but Anderson has a dierent take on it.“Just because you
don’t act like the
leaders you see
around you, you
should not be put
off becoming a
leader yourself”