“I’m so sorry,” he says again. I pull back and his eyes are red and
I’ve never seen him look so sad. “I panicked. I didn’t mean to push
you away, I just panicked. All I could think about was the surgery
Monday and my hand and... I’m so sorry.” He presses his mouth to
mine and breathes me in.
He’s not like my father. He can’t be. He’s nothing like that uncaring
bastard.
We’re both upset and kissing and confused and sad. I’ve never felt
anything like this moment—so ugly and painful. But somehow the
only thing that eases the hurt just caused by this man is this man. My
tears are soothed by his sorrow, my emotions soothed with his mouth
against mine, his hand gripping me like he never wants to let go.
I feel his arms go around my waist and he picks me up, carefully
stepping through the mess we’ve made. I can’t tell if I’m more
disappointed in him or myself. Him for losing his temper in the first
place or me for somehow finding comfort in his apology.
He carries me and kisses me all the way to my bedroom. He’s still
kissing me when he lowers me to the bed and whispers, “I’m sorry,
Lily.” He moves his lips to the spot on my eye that hit the cabinet, and
he kisses me there. “I’m so sorry.”
His mouth is on mine again, hot and wet, and I don’t even know
what’s happening to me. I’m hurting so much on the inside, yet my
body craves his apology in the form of his mouth and hands on me. I
want to lash out at him and react like I always wish my mother would
have reacted when my father hurt her, but deep down I want to
believe that it really was an accident. Ryle isn’t like my father. He’s
nothing like him.
I need to feel his sorrow. His regret. I get both of these things in
the way he kisses me. I spread my legs for him and his sorrow comes
in another form. Slow, apologetic thrusts inside of me. Every time he
enters me, he whispers another apology. And by some miracle, every
time he pulls out of me, my anger leaves with him.
- • •
He’s kissing my shoulder. My cheek. My eye. He’s still on top of me,
touching me gently. I’ve never been touched like this... with such