• • •
A few minutes pass.
Ten, maybe?
I can’t stop crying. I still haven’t moved from the bed. I’m scared to
look in the mirror. I’m just... scared.
I hear the front door open and slam shut again. Ryle appears in
the doorway and I have no idea if I’m supposed to hate him.
Or be terrified of him.
Or feel bad for him.
How can I be feeling all three?
He presses his forehead to our bedroom door and I watch as he
hits his head against it. Once. Twice. Three times.
He turns and rushes at me, falling to his knees at the side of the
bed. He grabs both of my hands and he squeezes them. “Lily,” he says,
his whole face twisting in pain. “Please tell me it’s nothing.” He brings
his hand to the side of my head and I can feel his hands shaking. “I
can’t take this, I can’t.” He leans forward and presses his lips hard
against my forehead, then rests his forehead against mine. “Please tell
me you aren’t seeing him. Please.”
I’m not even sure I can tell him that because I don’t even want to
speak.
He stays pressed against me, his hand wrapped tightly in my hair.
“It hurts so much, Lily. I love you so much.”
I shake my head, wanting the truth out of me so he’ll see what a
huge mistake he just made. “I forgot his number was even there,” I say
quietly. “The day after the fight in the restaurant... he came to the
store. You can ask Allysa. He was only there for five minutes. He took
my phone from me and he put his number inside of it, because he
didn’t believe I was safe with you. I forgot it was there, Ryle. I’ve never
even looked at it.”
He breathes out a shaky breath and begins nodding with relief.
“You swear, Lily? You swear on our marriage and our lives and on
everything that you are that you haven’t spoken to him since that
day?” He pulls back so he can look me in the eyes.
“I swear, Ryle. You overreacted before giving me the chance to
explain,” I say to him. “Now get the fuck out of my apartment.”