15-05-2021-052358It-Ends-with-Us

I slide to the floor near the door, growing dizzy. My fingers are
shaking so hard, it takes three tries to get the password right on my
phone.
When I have the screen up to dial a number, I pause. My first
thought is to call Allysa and Marshall, but I can’t. I can’t do that to
them right now. She just gave birth to a baby a matter of hours ago. I
can’t do this to them.
I could call the police, but my mind can’t even process what all that
entails. I don’t want to give a statement. I don’t know that I want to
press charges, knowing what this could do to his career. I don’t want
Allysa mad at me. I just don’t know. I don’t completely rule out
eventually notifying the police. I just don’t have the energy to make
that decision right now.
I squeeze the phone and try to think. My mother.
I start to dial her number, but when I think of what this would do
to her I start to cry again. I can’t involve her in this mess. She’s been
through too much. And Ryle will try to find me. He’ll go to her first.
Then Allysa and Marshall. Then to everyone else we know.
I wipe the tears from my eyes and then begin dialing Atlas’s
number.
I hate myself more in this moment than I ever have in my entire
life.
I hate myself, because the day Ryle found Atlas’s number in my
phone, I lied and said I had forgotten it was there.
I hate myself, because the day Atlas placed his number there, I
opened it and looked at it.
I hate myself, because deep down inside, I knew there was a chance
that I might one day need it. So I memorized it.
“Hello?”
His voice is cautious. Inquiring. He doesn’t recognize this number.
I immediately start crying when he speaks. I cover my mouth and try
to quiet myself.
“Lily?” His voice is much louder now. “Lily, where are you?”
I hate myself, because he knows the tears are mine.
“Atlas,” I whisper. “I need help.”
“Where are you?” he says again. I can hear panic in his voice. I can
hear him walking, moving stuff around. I hear a door slam on his end