15-05-2021-052358It-Ends-with-Us

the trash bag I’m holding and he takes it from my hands. “Let me get
this.”
I let him. He takes that bag and another one down to the
apartment while I gather my things. He and Marshall are walking
back inside the apartment as I’m preparing to walk out.
Ryle grabs the last bag of stuff and begins to head toward the front
door again. I’m following behind him when Marshall gives me a silent
look, asking me if I’m okay with Ryle going downstairs with me. I nod.
I can’t keep avoiding Ryle forever, so now is as good a time as any to
discuss where we go from here.
It’s only a few floors between their apartment and mine, but the
elevator ride down with Ryle feels like the longest it’s ever taken. I
catch him staring at my stomach a couple of times and it makes me
wonder how it must feel, going three months without seeing me
pregnant.
My apartment door is unlocked, so I push it open and he follows
me inside. He takes the last of the stuff to the nursery and I can hear
him moving things around, opening boxes. I stay in the kitchen and
clean things that don’t even need cleaning. My heart is in my throat,
knowing he’s in my apartment. I don’t feel scared of him in this
moment. I just feel nervous. I wanted to be more prepared for this
conversation because I absolutely hate confrontation. But I know we
need to discuss the baby and our future. I just don’t want to. Not yet,
anyway.
He walks down the hallway and into the kitchen. I catch him
looking at my stomach again. He glances away just as quickly. “Do you
want me to assemble the crib while I’m here?”
I should probably say no, but he’s half responsible for the child
growing inside of me. If he’s going to offer physical labor I’m going to
take it, no matter how angry I still am at him. “Yeah. That would be a
big help.”
He points toward the laundry room. “Is my toolbox still in there?”
I nod and he heads toward the laundry room. I open the
refrigerator and face it so I don’t have to watch him walk back
through the kitchen. When he’s finally in the nursery again, I close
the refrigerator and press my forehead against it as I grip the handle.