USING THIS BOOK
How can this book guide you in looking for love in all the right places and
improving your existing relationships?
After the introduction, we invite you to “roll up your sleeves” and get
straight to business by determining your own attachment style. This will
allow you to home in on your unique relationship “DNA” or attachment
style. Next you’ll learn how to identify the attachment styles of those
around you. These are key chapters, the first steps in understanding your
specific needs in relationships and who will be able (or unable) to meet
those needs. We’ll guide you through this process step-by-step and then
give you a chance to practice your new skills.
The next part discusses each attachment style in more detail. You’ll start
to get a better feel for the inner workings of each style. You may experience
these chapters as a true revelation as they allow you to see your own
romantic experiences and the experiences of people around you in a fresh
new light.
Part three comes with a big warning sign attached. You’ll learn the
emotional price of connecting with someone who has drastically different
intimacy needs from your own. We describe the specific problems of the
anxious-avoidant trap and advise you on the cost of remaining in such a
relationship. If you are already in such a bond and want to make it work,
this part will guide you through the process. By uncovering the specific
needs and vulnerabilities of each attachment style (your own and your
partner’s), and following tips and specific interventions that are tailored to
the anxious-avoidant connection, you will be able to bring the relationship
to a more secure place. Should you decide to leave, we discuss the pitfalls
you’ll encounter that may stop you from going through with it and offer
some useful pointers on how to survive the pain of a breakup.
Finally, we tap into the mind-set of people with a secure attachment style.
We reveal a method for getting your message across effectively to your date
or partner. Using this skill will not only convey your needs clearly and from
a place of strength and dignity, but it will also provide valuable information