When you want to give someone the subliminal feeling youre just alike,
use their words, not yours. Suppose you are selling a car to a young mother
who tells you she is concerned about safety because she has a young
toddler. When explaining the safety features of the car, use her word. Dont
use whatever word you call your kids. Dont even say child-protection lock,
which was in your sales manual. Tell your prospect, No toddler can open
the widow because of the drivers control device. Even call it a toddle
protection lock. When Mom hears toddler coming from your lips, she feels
you are family because thats how all her relatives refer to her little tyke.
Suppose your prospect had said kid or infant. Fine, echo any word she used.
(Well, almost any word. If shed said my brat, you might want to pass on
Echoing this time.)
Echoing at Parties
Lets say you are at a party. Its a huge bash with many different types of
people. You are first chatting with a lawyer who tells you her profession is
often maligned. When it comes your turn to speak, say profession too. If
you say job, it puts a subconscious barrier between you.
Next you meet a construction worker who starts talking about his job.
Now youre in trouble if you say, Well, in my profession... hed think you
were being hoity-toity.
After the lawyer and the construction worker, you talk to seeral
freelancersfirst a model, then a professional speaker, finally a pop musician.
All three of these folks will use different words for their work. The model
brags about her bookings. The professional speaker might say bookings, but
he is more apt to boast of his speaing engagements. A pop musician might
say, Yeah, man, I get a lot of gigs. Its tough to memorize what they all call
their work. Just keep your ears open and echo their word after they say it.
Echoing goes beyond job names. For example if you are chating with a
boat owner and you call his boat an it, he labels you a real landlubber. (He
reverently refers to his beloved boat, of course, as a she.) If you listen
carefully, you hear language sutleties you never dreamed existed. Would
you believe using the wrong synonym for a seemingly uncomplicated word
like have
How to Make Them Feel That Youre Like Family 179
labels you a know-nothing in somebody elses world? For exaple, cat
lovers purr about having cats. But horse people would say owning horses.
And fish folk dont own fish. They talk about keeing fish. Hey, no big deal.
ooja
(Ooja)
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