party goers. As we began the journey up to our respective floors, the el
vator gave several sleepy jerks.
Hmm, I remarked, in response to the elevators sluggisness, the elevator
seems a little flaky. Suddenly, each elevator occupant, feeling compelled to
exhibit his or her 132-plus IQ, pounced forth with a thunderous explanation.
Its obviously got poor rail-guide alignment, announced one. The relay
contact is not made up, declared another. Suddenly I felt like a grasshoper
trapped in a stereo speaker. I couldnt wait to escape the attack of the mental
giants.
Afterward, in the solitude of my room, I thought back and reflected that
the Mensans answers were, indeed, interesting. Why then did I have an
adverse reaction? I realized it was too much, too soon. I was tired. Their
high energy and intensity jarred my sluggish state.
You see, small talk is not about facts or words. Its about music, about
melody. Small talk is about putting people at ease. Its about making
comforting noises together like cats purring, children humming, or groups
chanting. You must first match your listeners mood.
Like repeating the note on the music teachers harmonica, top
communicators pick up on their listeners tone of voice and duplcate it.
Instead of jumping in with such intensity, the Mensans could have
momentarily matched my lethargic mood by saying, Yes, it is slow, isnt it?
Had they then prefaced their information with, Have you ever been curious
why an elevator is slow? I would have responded with a sincere Yes, I have.
After a moment of equalized energy levels, I would have welcomed their
explantions about the rail-guard alignment or whatever the heck it was. And
friendships might have started.
Im sure youve suffered the aggression of a mood mismatch. Have you
ever been relaxing when some overexcited, hot-breathed colleague starts
pounding you with questions? Or the reverse: youre late, rushing to a
meeting, when an associate stops you and starts lazily narrating a long,
languorous story. No matter how interesting the tale, you dont want to hear
it now.
The first step in starting a conversation without strangling it is to match
your listeners mood, if only for a sentence or two. When it comes to small
talk, think music, not words. Is your litener adagio or allegro? Match that
pace. I call it Make a Mood Match.
Matching Their Mood Can Make or Break the Sale
ooja
(Ooja)
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