she grumbled, Its bad for my arthritis. Can you guess what old Mrs. Otis
wants to talk about now?
When talking with anyone, keep your ears open and, like a good
detective, listen for clues. Be on the lookout for any unusual references: any
anomaly, deviation, digression, or invocation of
How to Resuscitate a Dying Conversation 75
another place, time, person. Ask about it because its the clue to what
your conversation partner would really enjoy discussing.
If two people have something in common, when the shared interest
comes up, they jump on it naturally. For example, if somone mentions
playing squash (bird-watching or stamp collecting) and the listener shares
that passion, he or she pipes up, Oh, youre a squasher (or birder or
philatelist), too!
Heres the trick: theres no need to be a squasher, birder, or philatelist to
pipe up with enthusiasm. You can simply Be a Word Detective. When you
pick up on the reference as though it excites you, too, it parlays you into
conversation the stranger thrills to. (The subject may put your feet to sleep,
but thats another story.)
Now that youve ignited stimulating conversation, lets explore a
technique to keep it hot.
Technique #18
Be a Word Detective
Like a good gumshoe, listen to your conversation partners every word
for clues to his or her preferred topic. The evidence is bound to slip out.
Then spring on that subject like a sleuth on to a slip of the tongue. Like
Sherlock Holmes, you have the clue to the subject thats hot for the other
person.
How to Enthrall Em with Your Choice of TopicThem!
Several years ago, a girlfriend and I attended a party saturated with a
hodgepodge of swellegant folks. Everyone we talked to seemed to lead a
nifty life. Discussing the party afterward, I asked my friend, Diane, of all
the exciting people at the party, who did you enjoy talking to most?
Without hesitation she said, Oh by far, Dan Smith. What does Dan do? I
asked her. Uh, well, Im not sure, she answered. Where does he live?
Uh, I dont know, Diane responded. Well, what is he interested in? Well,
we really didnt talk about his interests. Diane, I asked, what did you talk
about? Well, I guess we talked mostly about me. Aha, I thought. Diane has
ooja
(Ooja)
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