their repertoire that the crowd will enjoy. Then shine the spotlight by
requesting a repeat performance.
The added benefit of this technique is that, once youve got them up and
running with their conversation, you can sneak off and find more interesting
company!
One word of warning: make sure the story you request is one in which
the teller shines. No one wants to retell the time they lost the sale, cracked
up the car, or broke up the bar and spent the night in jail. Make sure your
requested Encore! is a positive story where they come out the big winner,
not the buffoon.
The full beauty of this technique will hit you like a happy thunderbolt
the first time you use it with someone who is telling a long and wearisome
tale. You simply tiptoe away and let the bore spin the story on and on with
your friend. (Of course, your friend may never speak to you again. But thats
not germaine to this chapter!)
The next technique deals with sharing some positive stories of your life.
How to Come Across as a Positive Person
Often people think when they meet someone they like, they should
share a secret, reveal an intimacy, or make a confession of sorts to show
they are human too. Airing your youthful battle with bed-wetting, teeth
grinding, or thumb suckingor your present struggle with gout or a
goitersupposedly endears you to the masses.
Well, sometimes it does. One study showed that if someone is above
you in stature, their revealing a foible brings them closer to you.The holes
in the bottom of presidential candidate Adlai Stevensons shoes charmed a
nation, as did George H. W. Bushs shocking admission that he couldnt
stomach broccoli.
If youre on sure footing, say a superstar who wants to become friends
with a fan, go ahead and tell your devotees about the time you were out of
work and penniless. But if youre not a superstar, better play it safe and keep
the skeletons in the closet until later. People dont know you well enough to
put your foible in context.
Later in a relationship, telling your new friend youve been thrice
married, you got caught shoplifting as a teenager, and you got turned down
for a big job may be no big deal. And that may be the extent of what could
be construed as black marks on an otherwise flawless life of solid
relationships, no misdemeanors, and
ooja
(Ooja)
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