2019-05-01+The+Australian+Womens+Weekly

MAY 2019| The Australian Women’s Weekly 25

Resilience

“lock-out”lawsbutthelawsremained

a sourceoftensionamongboththe

city’syouthandbusinesscommunity,

resultingin hugepublicdemonstrations.

Stuart,a shyandsensitiveboyvery

muchlikehisolderbrother,hadbeen

leftwithdeep-seatedanguishin the

aftermathofThomas’death.In2015,

threeyearsafterthatdreadfulnight,

Stuartgavea publicspeechtoa

packedSydneyballroomin supportof

thelaws,duringwhichhehintedat

theturmoilbeneathhisquietexterior.

“Icarrya deepscaryoucannotsee,”

hesaid.“Itis alwaysthere.It sits

belowthesurfaceofyourskinand

surfaceswhenyouleastexpectit.”Just

10 monthslater,hetookhisownlife.

IntheearlyhoursofJuly25,2015,

Stuartdrovea cartoSydney’snorthern

beaches.Hisbodywasfoundin the

carin theearlyhoursnextmorning.

Justa fewweeksbefore,he’dmoved

intoSt Paul’s,a residentialcollege

attachedtotheUniversityofSydney.

Hehadremainedat thecollegefor

just 18 hours,spendingonenighton

campus.Hisparentssayhecamehome

a transformedandbrokenperson.

“Wedon’tknowwhathappenedto

Stuartthatnight,”saysRalph,59.

“Hekepthiscardsveryclosetohis

chest.ButasbothKathyandI know,

hewasa changedpersonwhenwe

pickedhimupin thecarthatevening.

Hegotintothecarandjustsobbed.”

Ralph and Kathy believe Stuart was

thevictimthatnightof a hazingincident

at theuniversity.Stuart’sreputationas

thefaceofthelock-outlawcampaign

singledhimoutasa target.

“Stuartwentfrombeinga successful

andpopularkidat highschooltoan

insular,guardedyoungman,”says

Ralph.“Hetoldmehedidn’twantto go

backto university.Hesaidhewantedto

studyoverseasbutfinanciallythatwas

impossibleforus.Yetat thesametime,

hewasstillengagingwiththefamily.He

wouldsitin hisroomandif hethought

Madeleinewasgettingboggeddownin

herstudies,he’dtexthera joke.If he

didn’thearherlaughing,he’dsneakinto

herroomandticklehertillshedid.”

Evenso,there’snodoubtin the

Kellys’mindsthatit wasThomas’

deathandthelock-outlawfallout

thathelpeddriveStuarttothebrink.

“Forus,Thomas’deathis linkedto

Stuart’ssuicide,”saysRalph.“It’s

cleartousnowthatStuartwaseven

moredeeplyaffectedthanweknew.

Thatis ourgreatestregret,thatwe

didn’trecognisethesigns.Andyes,in

hindsight,wecansaythattherewere

signs,butwesimplydidn’tseethem

forwhattheytrulywere.”

Sevenyearsago,theKellyswerea

perfectlyordinaryAustralianfamily.

Theyliveda comfortablelifestyle

affordedbyRalph’shospitalitybusiness.

Theylivedin middle-classcomfortand

ruraltranquilityin Burradoo,a small

village in the NSW Southern Highlands.

“Ididn’tworkafterwemarriedand

hadchildren,”recallsKathy.“The

childrenwereallstillat schoolup

untilsixmonthsbeforeThomaswas

killed.ThomasandStuartwereat

boarding schoolin Sydney.Our

daughterMadeleine

wasstillat school

in thehighlands.

“Theboyswould

comehomeeitherfor

holidaysorweekends

andRalph,whohad

businessin Sydney,

wouldbeat home

weekendstoo,and

there’dbewashing

andironingandallthe

stuffthatcomeswith

children.Butthere’d

alsobetimespenttogetheraroundthe

kitchentable,talkingandcatchingup

• justspendingtimetogether.Thatwas
  thethingI lovedmost,andwhichI miss
  mostnow.Thatwasmylife.”
  Thomas’deathshatteredthatidyllic
  existence.“Tothensuddenlybethrust
  intoa situationwhereI hadlosta
  child,andit wasa verypublicsituation
  becausethemediagotbehindthenotion
  thatjusticehadnotbeendonefor
  Thomasin thecourts.It wasextremely
  difficulttoputyourselfoutthere.
  Butwedidbecausewerecognised
  somethingin oursocietythatneeded
  tochange.Excessivealcoholand
  violencearea deadlycocktail.Wedidn’t
  wantwhathadhappenedto usto
  happento anotherfamily,andif there
  wassomethingwecoulddoto stopthat
  happening,thenwewerepreparedto
  standupanddosomethingaboutit.”
  Outofthatfeelingwasbornthe
  ThomasKellyYouthFoundation,a
  charityorganisationthatnotonly
  lobbiesfortighteralcoholregulations
  butalsohelpsin anevenmorepractical
  way.Thefoundation,in conjunction
  withSt JohnAmbulanceanddozensof
  volunteerworkers,hassetupmultiple
  helppointsaroundtheSydneyCBD.
  Mostbusynightsin theSydneyinner
  cityprecinct,youcanseethewhite-
  toppedtentsdecoratedwiththe
  distinctivelight-blueTKsignage.It’s
  herethatanyoneexperiencingmedical
  or physical difficulty or suffering from→

Stuart’srole

asthefaceof

theSydney

lock-outlaws

madehima

target;Kathy

touches

Stuart’s

coffin;

ThomasKelly

foundation

volunteers.

HAIR

AND

MAKE-UP

BY

KELLY

TAPP.

NEWSPIX.

AAPIMAGE.

FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHS SUPPLIED AND USED WITH PERMISSION.