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Our time and energy are precious, finite resources. When we
choose to pour them into a friendship or romance, we must
ensure that it serves our overall well-being. Here are five signs
that your relationship has reached its expiration date:Once you’ve discovered that a relationship isn’t 100 percent healthy, it’s time to bless and release this person. Avoid
sticking around too long, breathing in toxicity and risking that you will go down with this ship. You can express gratitude
for the memories you share while simultaneously loving yourself enough to walk away. You can see the good in someone and
realize that they aren’t ready for a relationship. It does not make you a bad person to stop cultivating this connection.Erin is a speaker, songwriter and music therapist (MT-BC) working in mental health and rehab.
She is a recovering people-pleaser/perfectionist who writes about self-compassion.1} You can’t speak your heart. You are someone who knows how
to express your feelings and state your needs. But when you do, you are
met with defensiveness, aggression or the other person shutting down.
These conversations are not productive and often result in an argument
or isolation. You may even avoid necessary discussions out of fear for how
this person will react. You start to feel responsible for them rather than to
them, which can create a codependent dynamic. Issues start piling up
under the surface, resulting in tension and a lack of vulnerability.4} They minimize your pain. When you share
about something difficult, they respond with some
version of “Everything happens for a reason.” They
might even compare it with someone else’s story,
implying that things could be worse. Though this is
probably a poor attempt at encouragement, these
responses cheapen the heartache you are experiencing
and remove the space in which you can fully express
what you feel. You deserve someone who responds to
your pain with validation and empathy.5} They are not your cheerleader.
They respond to your victories with insecurity,
competition or jealousy. They respond to your
growth areas by trying to fix you. They frequently
state what you should and shouldn’t do, their
unsolicited advice coming across as criticism.
They believe they are more of an expert on your
life than you are.3} They don’t respect your boundaries.
As imperfect humans, we will all accidentally cross a
boundary at some point. When we do, we must have
the humility to apologize and change our behavior.
However, if you have communicated a boundary that
someone repeatedly ignores, they are revealing that they
do not value you as much as you value yourself. A person
who does not know your worth is not worth your time.2} They can’t speak their heart. Rather
than risking an uncomfortable confrontation
about their feelings, they choose to ghost
you for two weeks. They aren’t able/willing to
express their own hurts or needs, so they begin
resenting you. You find yourself walking on
eggshells, trying desperately to read their mind.
This guessing game drains your energy. It is not
your job to pull someone’s emotions out of them.Erin Aubrey
Instagram: @todayinmusictherapy | @erineaubreyFive Signs It’s Time to
Bless and Release a Relationship
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