AJITAS CHICKEN STYLE
VEGE CHIPS
I don’t want to overwhelm
you with my successful adult
lifestyle, but sometimes I eat
vegetables. You wouldn’t know it
from my sullen complexion, but
carrots and broccoli frequently
make their way into my digestive
tract! (Sorry for bragging.) So,
I don’t typically seek out the word
‘vege’ when I’m hunting for a
packaged snack – moreso ‘fried’,
‘cheesy’, or ‘will momentarily
distract you from the existential
dread that permanently rests
within your bosom’. Thankfully,
the quasi-health element
was counterbalanced with
a promise of ‘chicken style’
flavour – yippee! Chicken is
one of my favourite styles! But
readers... this promise was
not fulfilled. These chips had
a strange aftertaste of wet
dog, and my delicate mouth
found the morsels far too big
to crunch without feeling like
a trash compactor. Sorry, Ajitas,
you seem like such a happy and
wholesome brand, but you’re not
for me. DF
SAMBOY BARBECUE
CRINKLE CUT POTATO
CHIPS
No taste invokes the image of
those flimsy wooden serving
bowls that dotted the tables
at primary school birthday
parties like these chips do.
(OK, Cheezels and Twisties
are up there, too.) Barbecue
Samboys taste like childhood,
a time when portion control
was not something that
occurred to you, nor was
it something your parents
would dare impose on you- they knew the cost. Plus,
they were probably drunk.
These chips have kick, and
that’s what I love about them.
They’re not pretending to
be anything but a highly
addictive combination of
salt and artificial flavouring.
I had to fight the urge to duck
out for a can of SOLO while
scoffing this bag. I also found
myself dragging my finger
along the bottom of the foil
packet to scoop out the last
of the magic Samboy dust.
Yummo. CC
SUN RICE BROWN RICE CHIPS
Sometimes processed food
comes in packaging so uninviting
that it makes me immediately
recoil like a frightened sea
anemone. For example, anything
in ‘earthy’ tones designed
to signal ‘health’ will send
me sprinting in the opposite
direction (usually towards a
packet of Twisties). I don’t want
my potato chips masquerading
as a healthy snack – just give
me the crunchy, oily goodness,
gosh-darnit. So, when I saw
this particular brown bag of
‘wholesome’ chips with ‘added
wholegrains’, I hesitated. I was
pleasantly surprised once I got
snacking, though. The dark,
speckled squares tasted very
similar to a plain corn chip- salty and satisfying. These
brown rice chips are pretty
much the perfect snack to
bring to a casual gathering, if
a grown-up-looking alternative
to Doritos is what you fancy. BYO
‘homemade dip’ (supermarket
hummus secretly scraped
into a Tupperware container).
Healthy! DF
TYRRELL’S MATURE CHEDDAR
CHEESE & CHIVE CRISPS
My favourite thing about
people from England (aside
from how easily they get
sunburnt in Australia) is that
they call chips ‘crisps’. The
word adds a bit of elegance
to the rather undignified act
of shovelling hardened potato
into one’s gob. This bag of
chips features a monochrome
photo of three earnest-looking
old women staring into your
soul, so I was already won
over before I’d even cracked
open the pack. And once
I did... dear reader, it was a
magical experience. You know
how every packet of chippies
has one or two special chips
that are extra crunchy, extra
oily, folded-over special guys?
This entire packet was full of
those primo angels. Every
dip into the bag was akin to
a trip to heaven (probably)- right down to the very
last morsel, I was not
disappointed. What a treat!
All hail Tyrrell’s! Long live the
Queen, and her crisps. DF
crunch time
DEIRDRE FIDGE AND CARO COOPER
MUNCH THEIR WAY THROUGH SOME
SALTY SNACKS.
Illustrations Evie Barrow
road test