Severe anxiety, alongside depression, left Mel
panic stricken, and affected her daily life. While
she had reservations initially, professional
support and medication gave her a platform
to begin her recovery
A stepping stone
in recovery
F
rom when I experienced
my first anxiety
attack 18 years ago,
my journey includes
being hospitalised in a
psychiatric ward, five psychiatrists,
three psychologists, antipsychotic
medications, contemplating suicide,
experiencing two huge relapses, and
many little ones as well.
Those times were worse than
tough. In my first book, My Anxiety
Companion, I actually described
myself as being ‘dead’ because I was
dissociated from the world around
me, and felt so utterly hopeless and
anxiety stricken that I had given
up every last shred of hope within
me. So if someone had told me that
18 years later I would be happy,
healthy, married, living in a different
country, and writing books on how
to recover from anxiety disorder, I
would never have believed them!
Looking back now, I realise that
I was always an anxious child.Writing | Mel BonthuysHowever my first big anxiety
attack was in 2001 when I was 18,
and was triggered by a movie. To
this day, I have to be extremely
careful with what films I expose
myself to. It’s still difficult for
me to speak about, but I noticed
that instead of the anxiety from
the movie gradually going away,
it actually got worse. I started
to experience really terrifying
irrational fears, developed a
fear of people in general, chest
tightness, muscle tension, and a
horrible knot in my stomach –
constantly!
My best friend didn’t
understand, and I was too
embarrassed to tell anyone else,
because not even I understood
what I was feeling. Of course,
now I have come to realise that
anxiety disorders have two main
foundations: fear of the unknown,
and irrational fears.
Continues >>>