The Social Setting 105know as a conversation. People of all social classes in Bolivia
live an intense social life. They fi nd a time and place for
conversation, but a fi esta is usually reserved for dancing.
My wife and I were invited to a New Year’s Eve party at a
social club. The host said that I would have much in common
with his friend and he looked forward to our meeting each
other. During the whole night, the incessant music thumped
on, and the only words exchanged were, “Would you like
another drink?”
From the opposite cultural perspective, a Bolivian
acquaintance at a party in Washington DC expressed his
dismay to me: “They said this was going to be a party,
but everyone is talking and no one is dancing?” He was
experiencing culture shock USA.
The fi esta and its lesser cousin the parrillada (barbecue),
where the art of conversation remains alive, are institutions
in which both sexes participate. In the dynamics between
same sex versus mixed sex reunions, Bolivia fi nds itself
somewhere between two extremes.
The traditional extreme exalted same sex companionship,
with marriage companionship as a secondary part of
one’s communicative life. In his book, The Great Good
Place, sociologist Ray Oldenburg refers to the research of
Frenchwoman Lucienne Roubin, ‘who was able to account
for almost every square foot of ‘female’ and ‘male’ space’
in the villages of Provence, fi nding that none of the territory
was neutral ground, all of it carved up into either male or
female terrain.
The modern opposite, at least in the United States, is
based on the suburban ideology of what Oldenburg calls
‘companionate marriage.’ With the loss of neighbourhood
hangouts in suburbia there are the ‘stresses and strains of
an over-insulated togetherness.’ ‘Companionate marriage,’
writes Oldenburg, ‘imposes more togetherness than many
couples are capable of either utilising or enjoying, while
inhibiting stimulating contacts with other adults.’ In a
balanced situation, time out for same sex companionship is
likely to strengthen a marriage.