Socialising 73their daughter’s, and are oftentimes strict about curfews
and intimacy.
Many foreign men dating Chinese girls do not understand
the strong ties between the parent and daughter, and
sometimes encourage independence and rebellion against
parental control. This is completely contrary to the way that
a Chinese suitor would approach the family, and only tends
to create a wedge between the parents and daughter.
Oftentimes a girl will not tell her parents she is seriously
dating someone until she believes he is accomplished enough
to win her parents’ respect. In one case, a Chinese friend
had been dating a man for 12 years before she introduced
him to her parents. This was only after they had agreed to
get married and she had little choice. Her concerns were
well-founded. She spent the next year negotiating with her
parents over his suitability to be her husband.
Weddings
There are usually three stages involved in getting married
in China: legal registration, photo-taking and the wedding
banquet. The legal registration is an administrative process
that is done without recognition or celebration. It is basically
receiving the Chinese government’s approval to be married.
The real festivities start with an elaborate series of photos
that the couple commissions to be taken.
Wedding photography has become a huge money-making
industry in China. Couples spend entire days dressing up in
various rented costumes, having their hair and makeup done,
and posing in front of natural and artificial backdrops.
On any given auspicious date, parks will be full of couples
lined up to have their photo taken. There is a park in Hangzhou,
a popular wedding photo destination, that has an entire section
of props for wedding photos, from traditional fake-flower
covered archways to Gone With the Wind-style porch swings.
The most popular wedding photo pose has the bride beautifully
coiffed and looking demurely into the camera, while the groom
is staring up at her with eyes full of adoration and longing. After
hours of this, the couple ends up with a professional album,
long before the actual day of the wedding celebration.