TRAVELANDLEISUREASIA.COM 23
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day it’s gluten-free blueberry-mango pancakes topped with
fluffy coconut custard.
Each day the workshops tackle a different topic. One
session it’s the physical body. Think self-care, like a kick-ass
morning routine that has us exfoliating and massaging
ourselves. The simple practice we learn remains a non-
negotiable part of my getting ready each day long after I’ve
gotten home and back to my normal life.
We also uncover what those aches and pains are really
trying to tell us. According to Louise Hay’s book Heal Your
Body, which we talk about in one of the sessions, the nagging
pain in my shoulders (that I’m pretty sure would shriek like a
banshee if it had a voice) apparently relates to my ability to
carry out experiences, and suggests I am making life a burden
through my attitude. The thought of this cuts a little, but
with two young ones and a full-time job it often does feel that
I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Another day it’s a psychological focus that includes a brain
dump of all the things we juggle at home, invisible load
included. We also tackle the emotional, where through
journaling and sharing to the group we’re allowed to be
“emotionally slutty” as a friend puts it or “emotionally
prudish,” as another offers up, as we cover topics that hit a
nerve with moms. Mama guilt is a big one. Although I know
that we need to nourish ourselves in order to be able to
nourish others, feelings of guilt that I’ve taken a week off
from parenting, leaving my husband to do it all, creep in
during meditation. I inhale and exhale and try to let the
feeling go. There’s vision boarding, where we put our dreams
into picture form through cut-out images and words from
magazines to create a collage. I’m left with a jumble of happy
families, travel shots, inspiring words, and active pursuits
from snowboarding to surfing.
There’s also a spiritual session where a local mother, Lisa,
founder of bohemian fashion label Warriors of the Divine,
shares her unconventional story (it’s a doozy) about how she
found her calling. It involved a premonition from a Bali
psychic, the archangel Gabriel, and a leap of faith that had her
packing up a life and starting a new career in a new country
with no back-up plan.
She’s one of several inspirational women who speak to the
group. Another mother, who runs nearby Pineapple House,
talks about her path to motherhood with her baby, just a few
weeks old, sleeping blissfully in her lap. Then there’s a
warm-hearted and bubbly member of our group who has
been battling cancer and has grown through the process.
Over a candlelit dinner beneath the stars she opens up about
her journey, moving us all as we fight back tears.
Local healers are brought in, like Szilvia Galambos, a
tarot-card reader, with whom we book sessions during our
afternoon breaks. I’m nervous about what she’ll say when she
pulls back each card, but her presence is like a warm hug and
as she gives the reading my shoulders sink a little further
away from my ears and soften. The mother-load is lifting.
We also fill our free time in the afternoons with massages
and scrubs at the on-site spa. Who knew being slathered inyogurt could be so relaxing, especially after taking a surfing
lesson during which I had evidently worn expired sun block
(or was it actually insect repellent?). Reminder to self: always
check the label.
Carmela has created the space here for us to “stretch our
bodies and stretch our minds,” as she puts it, but she makes a
point to mention throughout that she’s no “sage on stage—
just a guide on the side.” She’s big on keeping the community
going long after we say our goodbyes, with workshops and
retreats planned for Bali, Sweden, the U.S. and Thailand
through 2021, and an online mama village where many of the
participants from past retreats keep in contact.
In the end I realize that it takes a village to raise a parent,
but the first step is giving yourself permission to receive
support. If we need to take care of ourselves, as parents, in
order to take better care of our children then we should let
those feelings of guilt about taking me-time fade away with
the breath. It also helps if that breath happens to be taken on
a beautiful, tropical island.Carmela’s next Raising Happy & Healthy Mamas retreat takes
place in Koh Samui, Thailand, February 22–27, 2021;
carmelafleury.com; US$1,280. Desa Seni in Canggu, Bali,
offers year-round accommodation and yoga packages;
desaseni.com; doubles from Rp2,535,000.From left: A
rustic-chic room
at Desa Seni;
organic plates
are the norm at
every meal.