New York Magazine - USA (2020-03-30)

march30–april12, 2020 | newyork 35

A fewhoursofintensivelearningat home

shouldbemorethanenoughtocompen-

sateforwhat’saccomplishedduringthe

averageschoolday.

Mymother, a consummateunschooler,

isn’t evenaimingat that. Morethanthree

decadesafterI refusedherinstruction,

she’s nowtakingcareofmy brother’s two

children, ages 6 and 8, whose long-

scheduledvisitwiththeirgrandparents

almost2,000milesfromhomehappened

tocoincidewiththepandemic.Whenshe

answeredmycall,shewasshoutingat the

kidsnottogoontotheporchbecausethere

wasa brokenboardsheworriedmighthurt

them.Thingssoundedchaotic.

I askedmy motherwhat it waslike to

suddenlybeunschoolinghergrandchil-

dren.“Right now, it’s more like I’m

deschoolingthem,”sheclarified,a term

unschoolersoftenuse todescribethe

periodoftransitionfromthestructures

andexpectationsofschooltosomething

morerelaxedandself-directed.Thekids

lovetheirsmallelementaryschoolinNew

Mexicoandareaccustomedtobeingina

regimentedsituation,somy mothersus-

pectsthey willallneedsometimetofinda

rhythm,figureouthowthey like tospend

theirtime,andestablishnewguidelines

andboundaries.“Howmuchtelevisionand

howmuchcomputerandwhatis okay in

termsoflettingthemdoit,andseeif they

justgetboredorwhetherwe’llneedto

switchgears,” shesaid.

Everyoneis learningrightnow, nomat-

terourage.Noneofushavelivedthrough

a crisisofthismagnitude.Evenbeforethe

coronavirushit,youngpeoplewerebecom-

ingmoreengagedwithglobalevents,strik-

ingtofightclimatechange andgunvio-

lence.Oureconomyisinmeltdown,our

so-calledleadersareincompetentand cor-

rupt,andthetruecostofsocialinequality

is becomingclear.Thingsarefalling apart,

sowhynottake theseweeksormonths to

letyourchildren—andyourselves—think

andlearnoutsidetheacademicbox.

SinceI’manidealist, I can’t help but

hopethiscrisisoffersanopportunity to

learna deeperlesson,too.Unschooling,

fundamentally,isabouttrust—trusting

yourselvesandyourkids.Asa child, I was

granteda senseofautonomy andresponsi-

bility that most conventionalschools do not

granttoyoungpeople.Lookingback at my

childhood,thetrustmy parentshadin their

offspringastoundsme—thoughasa child,

I feltbothentitledtoandworthy ofit.

Like hospitalmasksandhandsanitizer,

trustisa resourceinshort supply these

days.Whenwordofthevirusfirstgot out,

somebelievedthemediawasoverhyping

theoutbreak;others,fearinggovernment

incompetence,panic-shopped.One way to

understanddemocracyis asa system built

ontrust:trust inelectedofficials,in social

institutions,and, most crucial,in one

another.Perhapsifwebeginextending

trusttochildrennow, whenthey’re the

adults,theywon’t repeat ourmistakes. ■

In our house,

the adults

did not instruct us

or judge our

progress. I spent

months obsessed

with making

balloon animals.

Photograph by Jason Schmidt

Jules Schmidt playing the euphonium at home in Park Slope.