New York Magazine - USA (2020-03-30)

56 newyork| march30–april12, 2020

NineMoons

bygabrielawiener,

translatedbyjessicapowell

(Nonfiction,May5)

➽Withcertainwriters,it doesn’t matterwhat thebook

is about,becausethebrainthat createdit is soeuphoric,

sowicked,soirasciblyspecific,that youwanttoclearout

a cornerofyourownheadspaceandbeckontheauthor

insideasa permanenttenant.It is forthisreasonthat I,

a personwhohasneverbeenpregnantandhaslittle

interest inreproduction,

canrecommenda book

abouta pregnantladywho

watchestrashTVand

dreamsthat she’s goingto

givebirthtoa monkey.

TheonlythingI know

aboutthememoiristhere,

GabrielaWiener,isthat

sheis a Peruvianessayist

whohaswrittena book

calledSexographies—and,

honestly, that’senough.

Wienerworksasa jour-

nalistinSpain.Hermind

is a beautifulandunique

organ.Shehatesgoingto

thegynecologist because

oneoftheinstruments

remindsherofanindustrialorangejuicer. Shewishes

therewasa designerdrugforpregnantwomenlike

ecstasyorLSDbutsafe.Afterhearingherbabyforthe

first time,sheobserves:“Its heart beats like a sampler

froma mentallyunstableDJ.” What elsecanI say?It’s

thesortofbookyouwillreadandpassontoyour

friendswitha notethatsaystrustmetapedtothe

cover.Youneedn’t possessa babytoenjoyit.Having

oncebeena fetusis enough.

WTRN*

✔recommended

ifyoulike:

❏Roberto Bolaño’s

senseof humor

❏Changinginto

comfortableclothes

onemillisecond

aft er gettinghome

fromwork

❏Knowingthe

locationof all public

restroomswithina

fiv e-mileradiusof

yourbodylike an

admiralknowing

thewhereabouts

of hisships

ARTWORK: PURCHASE, JOSEPH PULITZER BEQUEST, 1913.

*What to Read Now.

READ LIKE THE WIND

Brain-electrifyingly good, Kindle-filling book recommendations. BY MOLLY YOUNG

ina nodtothepandemic—severalweeksbeforeit wasreal

andfatalonourshores—IstartedreadingThomasMann’sThe

MagicMountain.Themaincharacterisa spoilt(notspoiled,

spoilt) Germanguyluxuriatinginanalpinesanatorium.After

200 pages,I waslike,Fuckthis.Nobodywantstoreadabout

someGermandudesweatingouta possibly

metaphoricalcaseoftuberculosisina fur-lined

sleepingbag.Nowis thetimeforbooksthat go

downlikericepudding.Nowisthetimefor

sweet,easilydigested,soul-swaddlingtomes.I

willcompletemy Mannvoyage anothertime.

Today, wefeast onsizzlingmemoirs,Hollywoodnovels,and

derangedhippiemisadventures.

Here’sa bonusnonliterarytip:Create a folder onyour

phoneandfillit withsoothingimagestoconsultwhenanxi-

etyseizesyou.(My folderistitled“SoothingImages.”)Popu-

lateitwithpicsofbabyelephants,shadygrottoes,buttered

toast—whateverreducesyourpalpitations.It’sfuntoscout

for imagesand comforting toknowthey await youwhen

needed.Youcouldevencreatea sharedfolderwithfriends.

bewell,

Molly

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