300 Part III Humanistic/Existential Theories
order to survive, an infant must experience some contact from a parent or other
caregiver.
As children (or adults) become aware that another person has some measure
of regard for them, they begin to value positive regard and devalue negative regard.
That is, the person develops a need to be loved, liked, or accepted by another
person, a need that Rogers (1959) referred to as positive regard. If we perceive
that others, especially significant others, care for, prize, or value us, then our need
to receive positive regard is at least partially satisfied.
Positive regard is a prerequisite for positive self-regard, defined as the expe-
rience of prizing or valuing one’s self. Rogers (1959) believed that receiving pos-
itive regard from others is necessary for positive self-regard, but once positive
self-regard is established, it becomes independent of the continual need to be loved.
This conception is quite similar to Maslow’s (see Chapter 9) notion that we must
satisfy our love and belongingness needs before self-esteem needs can become
active, but once we begin to feel confident and worthy, we no longer require a
replenishing supply of love and approval from others.
The source of positive self-regard, then, lies in the positive regard we receive
from others, but once established, it is autonomous and self-perpetuating. As Rogers
(1959) stated it, the person then “becomes in a sense his [or her] own significant
social other” (p. 224).Barriers to Psychological Health
Not everyone becomes a psychologically healthy person. Rather, most people expe-
rience conditions of worth, incongruence, defensiveness, and disorganization.Conditions of Worth
Instead of receiving unconditional positive regard, most people receive conditions
of worth; that is, they perceive that their parents, peers, or partners love and accept
them only if they meet those people’s expectations and approval. “A condition of
worth arises when the positive regard of a significant other is conditional, when
the individual feels that in some respects he [or she] is prized and in others not”
(Rogers, 1959, p. 209).
Conditions of worth become the criterion by which we accept or reject our
experiences. We gradually assimilate into our self-structure the attitudes we per-
ceive others expressing toward us, and in time we begin to evaluate experiences
on this basis. If we see that others accept us regardless of our actions, then we
come to believe that we are prized unconditionally. But if we perceive that some
of our behaviors are approved and some disapproved, then we see that our worth
is conditional. Eventually, we may come to believe those appraisals of others that
are consistent with our negative view of self, ignore our own sensory and visceral
perceptions, and gradually become estranged from our real or organismic self.
From early childhood forward, most of us learn to disregard our own organismic
valuations and to look beyond ourselves for direction and guidance. To the degree
that we introject the values of others, that is, accept conditions of worth, we tend to
be incongruent or out of balance. Other people’s values can be assimilated only in
distorted fashion or at the risk of creating disequilibrium and conflict within the self.