332 Part III Humanistic/Existential Theories
The fear of death or nonbeing often provokes us to live defensively and to receive
less from life than if we would confront the issue of our nonexistence. As May (1991)
said, “we are afraid of nonbeing and so we shrivel up our being” (p. 202). We flee
from making active choices; that is, we make choices without considering who we are
and what we want. We may try to avoid the dread of nonbeing by dimming our self-
awareness and denying our individuality, but such choices leave us with feelings of
despair and emptiness. Thus, we escape the dread of nonbeing at the expense of a
constricted existence. A healthier alternative is to face the inevitability of death and to
realize that nonbeing is an inseparable part of being.The Case of Philip
Existential psychology is concerned with the individual’s struggle to work through
life’s experiences and to grow toward becoming more fully human. May (1981)
described this struggle in a report on one of his patients—Philip, the architect we
met in the chapter opening. Here, we continue with Philip’s story; and later we
use his experiences to illustrate May’s concepts of anxiety, intentionality, destiny,
psychopathology, and psychotherapy.
When Nicole told Philip that, as he well knew, she could never leave him,
Philip was surprised and confused because he knew no such thing. About a year
later, Philip learned that Nicole had had another affair; but before he could confront
her and break off their relationship, he had to leave for a 5-day business trip. By
the time he returned, Philip was able to reason that perhaps he could accept
Nicole’s right to sleep with other men. Also, Nicole convinced him that the other
man didn’t mean anything to her and that she loved only Philip.
A little later, Nicole had a third affair, one that she made sure Philip would
discover. Once again, Philip was filled with anger and jealousy. But once again,
Nicole reassured him that the man meant nothing to her.
On one level, Philip wished to accept Nicole’s behavior, but on another, he
felt betrayed by her affairs. Yet, he did not seem to be able to leave her and to
search for another woman to love. He was paralyzed—unable to change his rela-
tionship with Nicole but also unable to break it off. At this point in Philip’s life,
he sought therapy from Rollo May.Anxiety
Philip was suffering from neurotic anxiety. Like others who experience neurotic
anxiety, he behaved in a nonproductive, self-defeating manner. Although he was
deeply hurt by Nicole’s unpredictable and “crazy” behavior, he became paralyzed
with inaction and could not break off their relationship. Nicole’s actions seemed
to engender in Philip a sense of duty toward her. Because she obviously needed
him, he felt obligated to take care of her.
Before May published The Meaning of Anxiety in 1950, most theories of
anxiety held that high levels of anxiety were indicative of neuroses or other forms
of psychopathology. Just prior to publishing this book, May had experienced a great
deal of anxiety while recovering from tuberculosis. He and his first wife and their
young son were basically penniless, and he was unsure of his own recovery. In The
Meaning of Anxiety, May claimed that much of human behavior is motivated by an