Chapter 14 The Major Motives of Life: Food, Love, Sex, and work 501Asian-American, white, and Latina women had
consented to having sex when they didn’t really
want to, and all of the African-American women
said they had. Do you remember the attachment
theory of love? Anxiously attached women were
the most willing to consent to unwanted sex,
especially if they feared their partners were less
committed than they were. They reported that
they often had sex out of feelings of obligation
and to prevent the partner from leaving. Securely
attached women also occasionally had unwanted
sex, but their reasons were different: to gain sexual
experience, to satisfy their curiosity, or to actively
please their partners and further the intimacy be-
tween them (Impett, Gable, & Peplau, 2005).Sexual Coercion and Rape. One of the most
persistent differences in the sexual experiences of
women and men has to do with sexual coercion. A
U.S. government survey of rape and domestic vio-
lence, based on a nationally representative sample
of 16,507 adults, reported that nearly one in five
women said they had been raped or experienced at-
tempted rape at least once. (The researchers defined
rape as completed or attempted forced penetration,
including forced penetration enabled by alcohol or
drugs.) Men also reported being victimized, but the
numbers were much lower: One in seven said they
had been severely beaten at the hands of a partner,
and 1 to 2 percent said they had been raped, most
when they were younger than 11 (Black et al., 2011).
However, many women who report a sex-
ual assault that meets the legal definition of• Partner approval: the desire to please or appease
the partner; the desire to avoid the partner’s
anger or rejection.• Peer approval: the wish to impress friends, be
part of the group, and conform to what every-
one else seems to be doing.• Attaining a goal: to get status, money, revenge,
or “even the score.”
People’s motives for having sex affect many
aspects of their sexual behavior, including whether
they engage in sex in the first place, whether
they enjoy it, whether they have unprotected or
otherwise risky sex, and whether they have few
or many partners (Browning et al., 2000; Impett
& Tolman, 2006). Extrinsic motives, such as hav-
ing sex to gain approval from others or get some
tangible benefit, are most strongly associated with
risky sexual behavior, including having many part-
ners, not using birth control, and pressuring a
partner into sex (Hamby & Koss, 2003). For men,
extrinsic motives include peer pressure, inexperi-
ence, a desire for popularity, or a fear of seeming
unmasculine. Women’s extrinsic motives include
not wanting to lose the relationship; feeling obli-
gated once the partner has spent time and money
on them; feeling guilty about not doing what the
partner demands; or wanting to avoid conflict and
quarrels (Impett, Gable, & Peplau, 2005).
When one partner is feeling insecure about
the relationship, he or she is also more likely
to consent to unwanted sex. In a study of 125
college women, one-half to two-thirds of the
The many motivations for sex range from sex for profit to sex for fun.