ROMANTIC INTEREST
Once we’re in love, other sleights of mind help to ensure that we stay
together. We tend to denigrate past partners and see our current lover in
a flattering light. According to tradition, love is blind, and the evidence
backs this up. Research by Viren Swami, for example, has shown that
people nearly always rate their partner as more attractive than them-
selves. Faby Gagne at Wellesley College similarly found that 95 percent
of people believed their partner was better-looking than average, more
intelligent, loving and witty.
These kinds of biases may seem a little delusional but there’s evidence
that they help keep us together once the buzz of early attraction has
faded. Research by Paul Miller at the Ontario HIV Treatment Network
followed 168 newly-wed couples for 13 years and found that those with
a more idealized perception of each other early on were more likely to
still be in love years later. Similarly, Sandra Murray at the University of
Waterloo found that those people who idealized their partners tended to
be more happy and satisfied with their relationships. Other research has
shown the power of enduring love. A brain-imaging study presented at
the Society for Neuroscience conference in 2008 found that couples who
claimed to still be in love after decades of marriage still experienced –
in terms of brain activity – the drug-like rush and craving of an early
romance when they viewed a picture of their partner. The research, by
Bianca Acevedo at the State University of New York, also showed that
the sight of their partners prompted long-term lovers, but not new
partners, to experience increased brain activation in regions associated
with calmness and pain suppression.
From kissing to orgasm
Conjecture is thicker on the ground than evidence when it comes to
explaining why humans like to lock lips and swap mouth fluids. An
account that’s popular with anthropologists is that the habit evolved
from a tendency among our ancestors for mothers to feed their young
mouth-to-mouth – a behaviour still indulged in by our chimpanzee
cousins. An alternative theory, suggested by neuroscientist Vilayanur
Ramachandran, is that the lure of red lips can be traced back to our
penchant for ripe fruit.
Other experts have proposed that kissing acts as a kind of early rela-
tionship trial. Testing this claim, psychologist Gordon Gallup at the
University of Albany surveyed nearly two hundred men and women and
found that 63 percent said they’d ended a potential relationship after the