112 Who Are Our Friends?
Friends can also directly impact romances, regardless of the involved individu-
als’ perceptions of approval or disapproval. The opinions of the romance held by
the involved individuals’ network of friends, specifically the friends of female part-
ner, are robust predictors of whether the couple remains together or not 6 months
later (Agnew, Loving, & Drigotas, 2001). Friends’ perceptions remained a signifi-
cant predictor of romantic outcomes even after controlling for couple members’
own perceptions, corroborating the importance of individuals who meet friendship
needs to romantic outcomes. Additionally, friends can engage in influential behav-
iors at the critical stages of the romance that then can contribute to how involved
individuals think about their relationships (Keneski & Loving, 2014). When asked
to recall a relationship about which they either approved or disapproved, the major-
ity of college students recalled a friend’s relationship, rather than the relationships
of other members of their networks (Sprecher, 2010). Further, the participants
reported showing the strongest reactions and engaging in influential behaviors in
serious stages of the relationship (i.e., when partners decided to get serious about
the relationship).
Overall, these findings suggest that friends external to a romance are influen-
tial in romantic outcomes. Presumably, friends are important for these outcomes
because they have a history of meeting the involved individuals’ friendship needs,
and have built an important relationship with the involved individual. Therefore,
one interesting question these findings raise is whether the influence of friends ever
fades away as the romantic partner begins to take over the fulfillment of friendship
needs. Indirect evidence for the change in influence of friends’ opinions comes from
a study by Sprecher and Felmlee (2000), in which they examined how romantic
couples’ perceptions of network approval for the relationship change over the course
of time and relationship transitions. Their findings demonstrated that people who
stayed together throughout the longitudinal study tended to perceive more network
approval for their romance, particularly from male partners’ friendship network.
Moreover, people reported increases in perceptions of network approval during tran-
sitions to more serious stages of the relationship, such as engagement and marriage.
These findings can be interpreted to suggest that the influence of our social networks
escalates at critical points and transitions in the course of a relationship, and it gradu-
ally becomes stabilized after the relationship reaches an established stage.
Friendship Between Members of a Romantic Dyad
“I think ... if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then
there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.”
— Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)This famous quote, spoken by Anna Karenina to her love interest, Vronsky, in
the novel for which she is the namesake, illustrates the uniqueness of romantic