“Same-Sex” and “Opposite-Sex” 67paradigmatic relationship: friendship. As I explain in an earlier work (Monsour,
2002), based on the writings of Davis and Todd (1985) and Fehr (1996):
Paradigm case formulations are generated by the use of theory, by relying
on past research, or by researcher intuition.... A paradigm formulation
involves the construction of a complex paradigm case of the concept under
investigation against which others can be recognized as variations of the
paradigm case. (p. 25)Consequently, regardless of the gender composition of the friendship, there are
certain paradigmatic characteristics that the vast majority of friendships possess.
Although friendship scholars use different terms and labels for these characteristics,
they mostly all fall into the broad categories of providing affect, aid, and affirmation
(Monsour, 2002).
Perhaps the most significant difference between same- sex and other- sex friend-
ships is the intrinsic advantage that one type of friendship has over the other. In the
case of other- sex friendships, that core advantage is the provision of an “insider’s
perspective” on how members of the other sex think, feel, and behave (Monsour,
2002; Rawlins, 2009; Werking, 1997). In a similar fashion, same- sex friends pro-
vide one another with a different type of insider’s perspective, that is, they both
know what it is like to be a member of that sex and thus are in a position to provide
a particular type of understanding and social support that other- sex friends cannot
provide. My relationship with Susan was unique in that she could provide me with
both of these core advantages that are normally reserved only for more traditional
same- sex and other- sex friendships.
Academic Books
A second generalization pertains to the excellent academic books that have been
written over the last 30 years. Space restrictions make it impossible to identify and
describe all of the books that have been written (e.g., also see Fehr, 1996; Greif,
2009), so the focus is on selected books that have either stood the test of time
(Blieszner & Adams, 1992; Rubin, 1985) and/ or are particularly insightful or
groundbreaking (Muraco, 2012; Rawlins, 2009; Werking, 1997). There are a rea-
sonable number of solid academic books available for the serious friendship scholar.
My expectation is that the current edited volume will be a substantive contribution
to books on friendship.
The identified books are presented in chronological order, starting with Lilian
Rubin’s 1985 book Just Friends: The Role of Friendship in Our Lives. Professor Rubin
died in the summer of 2014 at the age of 90 and left behind an impressive scholarly
legacy on a variety of topics. The most important of her many works for friendship
scholars is her book Just Friends. Rubin cogently lays out the marginalized position