“Same-Sex” and “Opposite-Sex” 69of the role it can play in counteracting the heteronormative bias examined in the
next section. The interested reader is also alerted to a similar book that came out in
2001, Between Gay and Straight: Understanding Friendship Across Sexual Orientation
(Tilman- Healy).
Heteronormative Bias in Other- Sex Friendship Studies
A heteronormative bias permeates many of the investigations of other- sex friend-
ships (Rawlins, 2009; Rose, 2000; Rumens, 2012; Werking, 1997). As noted by
Rawlins (2009), the heteronormative bias privileges heterosexuality and sexualizes
friendships between women and men. That bias has led to dozens of studies focus-
ing on romantic and sexual attraction and tension in other- sex friendships, often
framed as the “challenges” of friendships between women and men (O’Meara, 1989;
Rawlins, 1982). These studies are still quite common (see Bleske- Rechek, 2012).
These challenges do exist in many friendships, and they are worthy of empirical
investigation. However, friendship scholars need to acknowledge that by focusing
on these challenges friendship researchers are playing their own role in sexualizing
friendships that occur between women and men.
Another manifestation of the heteronormative bias is the tremendous popular-
ity of studies targeting the so- called friends with benefits relationship, in which
women and men have sexual contact in their friendship without romantic involve-
ment (Quirk, Owen, & Fincham, 2014). Even a cursory review of the literature over
the last 10 years reveals hundreds of studies focusing on this phenomenon. Although
these studies certainly have their place and serve a useful function (Furman &
Shaffer, 2011), the reader is invited to consider the possibility that perhaps too much
time and attention has been dedicated to this aspect of other- sex friendship, since it
is relevant only to those friendships in which both individuals are heterosexual and
it tends to marginalize those individuals who are not. More attention needs to be
given to conducting research on other types of friendships such as cross- category
friendships in which “individuals are positioned differently across social identities”
(Galupo & Gonzalez, 2013, p. 780).
Theoretical Perspectives on Adult Friendships
Assessing the same- sex and other- sex friendship literatures and examining similari-
ties and differences between those two types of friendship would not be complete
without a brief examination of theories that are being fruitfully applied to friend-
ship dynamics. Perhaps I inadvertently overlooked them, but to my knowledge
these theories have not been applied to the systematic investigation of similarities
and differences between same- sex and other- sex friendships. The four theories that
appear to be most popular and to hold the most promise are social construction-
ism (Gergen, 1991; Monsour & Rawlins, 2014), attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969;