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34THE BIDET
SEAT, AN
ENDORSEMENT
Listen, I’m not going
to talk about the clean-
liness of your behind.
Everybody’s got his own
preference for that. I’m
going to talk about Japan.
Specifically, a toilet in
an $80-a-night hostel in
Japan, which opened auto-
matically, lit in purple like
a hotel lounge. The seat
was warm. The back played
soothing bird sounds. This
toilet (in a hostel!) was so
superior to any I’ve ever
used that it made me curse
whatever Wild West leg-
acy of radical self-reliance
led to the negligence of the
American tuchus. When I
got home, I resolved to put
a Japanese-style toilet
topper such as the Toto
Washlet (starts at $499)
on my own toilet. I wanted
one to rinse my precious
derriere, of course, but I
also wanted one because
I like to feel pampered.
An add-on bidet may be
fussy, but at a time when
personal hygiene is more
important than ever, it’s
also profoundly func-
tional. —Jacqueline
Detwiler-Georgethe stripped end of the fixture wire
and the stripped end of a house wire
so they are parallel, then twist the wire
connector on it in a clockwise motion.
Test each splice with a gentle tug on the
wires. They must stay firmly put; if not,
start from scratch. If you’re nervous
about using old-school twist-on wire
connectors, try new-school push-in
connectors instead. You just push the
wire in and you’re done.
Chances are good that the fixture will
come with the proper connectors. On the
other hand, if these look cheap (and some
are), discard them and buy a better-quality
connector.
Tuck the connected wires neatly into the
electrical box and mount the fixture to its
mounting strap or plate; mount its glass com-
ponents and bulbs. Restart the power, then flip
the switch, and you should be rewarded with a
pleasing new light.May/June 2020 45