Cosmopolitan US May2020

especially given that

most women need

clitoral stimulation to

orgasm. So when you

really think about it,

dry humping might just

be the most targeted,

democratic form of

intimacy out there.

It’s also kind of

the OG “safe sex.”

If you’re anxious about

getting pregnant or

an STI, dry humping

is definitely one of

the least risky ways

to get off—assuming

you stay dressed, of

course. (While we’re

out here modernizing

sex, I should take this

moment to say that

you can go ahead

and dry-hump naked

if you want to. It’ll feel

slightly less...dry...but

equally as good. Just

make sure to tag in a

barrier method like

a condom to help

block out sperm or

skin-to-skin infections

like herpes.)

And TBH, you

should just (re)

try it.

I recently invited my

new boyfriend to see

if my old moves would

still work. With shirts

and underwear on, we

proceeded to mash

our junk together and,

yep, damn.

As someone whose

delicate clit can’t

handle tons of direct

stimulation (TOO

MUCH, BABES), my

nerve endings were

thankful for the layers

of fabric. We could

press really hard into

There’s no pressure to

be “good” at it,

because there’s literally

no ~technique~.

N

o

w

f

o

r

s

o

m

e

o

t

h

e

r

u

n

p

o

p

u

l

a

r

s

e

x

• 
  

p

i

n

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o

n

s

“Fingering is such a

f u n f o r m o f f o r e p l a y a n d

generally less anxiety-

inducing and easier

t o d o w e l l t h a n o ra l.”

—LEXI, 23

“Yeah, it’s sorta

unwieldy, but sixty-

nining actually rules. It’s

like a cool oral sex con-

versation that

goes both ways.”

—SOPHIE, 26

“ I l i ke t o t a l k d u r i n g s e x

but not ‘dirty’ talk.

I like to joke and giggle

and ask questions.

9/10 men hate this.”

—PAIGE, 23

satisfied that I PTFO’d

as he sped home to

make our 11 p.m. cur-

few (ah, youth).

So that was then,

but listen: It should

also be now.

Grinding does

a clit well

is all I’m saying.

Yeah, yeah, most of

society still considers

P-in-V (penis-in-vagina)

to be the end goal of

~sex~. But that’s seri-

ously basic—not to

mention wildly hetero-

normative. Sex is so

much more than that,

as the rest of us know:

Fingers, tongues, toys,

and denim seams can

all be as fulfilling,

each other without

pain. There also wasn’t

any pressure to be

“good” at it, because

there’s literally no

~technique~ besides,

well, grinding.

Even better: the tan-

talizing “gotta touch

you everywhere now

but can’t” frustration

of having clothes on.

Like, sure, I can have

sex with my BF any-

time, without need-

ing to sneak around

in the back seat of

a car. But the primal

desperation that came

from clawing at each

other while dressed

yielded a whole new

(or whole forgotten)

dimension of hotness.

It was like we were

suddenly in a bone-

zone time machine,

revisiting the urgent

horniness of our

teens, when every

single touch and

glance really mat-

tered, you know?

Basically, at 16, I

thought of dry hump-

ing as a slightly

embarrassing rest stop

on the way to other

kinds of “real” sex. But

as an adult, dry hump-

ing is all about tension

and appreciation—

and being extremely,

extremely turned on.

That’s why I’m now

the proud president of

the Dry Humping for

Grown-ups club. I’m

the first at brunch to

say, “Okay, but have

you tried...?” And

when the boyf wants

to get me worked up,

he knows exactly what

to do. High school me

would be so proud.

lust

May 2020 Cosmopolitan 93