Chapter 6 Listening 165THINK
ABOUT
THIS❶ Which is more rude:
ignoring a text or ignoring
the person in front of you?
Which communication
transaction should take
priority?
❷ Does it bother you
when people attend to
other things—checking
e-mail, Web surfing, and
such—when you are
speaking to them? Do you
check your phone when
you are out with friends?
❸ Why is it so hard to
ignore a buzzing phone?
Is it easier to focus on
other things if your phone
is out of reach or turned
off? Under what circum-
stances do you turn off
your phone?Don’t Touch That Smartphone
The stack of phones in the middle of the table is buzzing. Three friends,
gathered for an after-work drink at a local pub, are anxious. Mike, Jacob, and
Elisse had all set their phones to vibrate. Only Karen sits smugly, looking over
the menu with a bemused smile, knowing one of the others would soon give
in. She’d turned her phone off. There was no way she was paying for dinner
tonight. “Phone Stack” is a game of sorts but also a response to the culture
of multitasking and technology overload that has pervaded every aspect of
our social lives. When a group goes out to dinner or for drinks, phones get
stacked in the center of the table, the idea being that they are off-limits. The
first person to give in—to answer a call, check in on Foursquare, take a quick
look to see who that text is from, or even grab the phone “just to check the
time” gets stuck with the bill. The bigger the group is, the higher the stakes
(Tell, 2013).
Stepping away from the bings, beeps, and buzzes that connect us to our
social networks can be a challenge. But it’s also important that we give those
in our physical presence our undivided attention—something that’s hard to
do if you’re worried that you might miss some important information coming
in on your smartphone. And although it may seem like you can easily attend
to the people you’re with and the people you’re online with, you really can’t.
According to cognitive researchers, the human brain doesn’t really multitask—
it just divides its attention. That means we’re never really paying attention
to more than one thing at a time; we’re just constantly toggling between tasks
(Wallis, 2006). Recent evidence suggests that multitasking doesn’t just affect
our ability to focus at a specific time—it actually has lasting effects on the
way we think and react even when we’re determined to focus on just one
thing. “The technology is rewiring our brains,” notes Nora Volkow, one of the
world’s leading brain scientists (Richtel, 2010). And although there is some
evidence of benefits to multitasking, on the whole, those identified as mul-
titaskers are far less adept at filtering out extraneous information in order to
focus on what is important (Richtel, 2010). This important part of the listening
process—selecting—suffers when we try to attend to several things at once.
So when you pick up your phone to check out your opponent’s hundred-
point move in Words with Friends, remember that you are actually ignoring
your dining partner’s story about her last Words with Friends victory. Oh, and
bear in mind that you might wind up picking up the tab, too.WIREDFORCOMMUNICATION
presenting a boring topic. When something (or someone) seems overwhelmingly
dull, we often wind up daydreaming about more interesting things like weekend
plans, an intriguing new stranger, or postgraduation plans. Nonetheless, boring
information may still be important enough to warrant your attention.
On the flip side, your own overexcitement can distract you from listening
effectively, even if the speaker or topic is essentially engaging. If you’re consumed
by plans for an upcoming vacation, for instance, you may have difficulty listen-
ing to a great class lecture.