too big. The writer Franz Kafka, the son of an overbearing and
disapproving father, likened imposter syndrome to the feeling of a
bank clerk who is cooking the books. Frantically trying to keep it all
going. Terrified of being discovered.
Of course, this insecurity exists almost entirely in our heads.
People aren’t thinking about you. They have their own problems to
worry about!
What is better than these two extremes—ego and imposter
syndrome—but simple confidence? Earned. Rational. Objective. Still.
Ulysses S. Grant had an egotistical, self-promoting father, who
was always caught up in some scheme or scandal. Grant knew that
wasn’t who he wanted to be. In response, he developed a cool and
calm self-confidence that was much closer to his mother’s quiet but
strong personality. It was the source of his greatness.
Before the Civil War, Grant experienced a long chain of setbacks
and financial difficulties. He washed up in St. Louis, selling firewood
for a living—a hard fall for a graduate of West Point. An army buddy
found him and was aghast. “Great God, Grant, what are you doing?”
he asked. Grant’s answer was simple: “I am solving the problem of
poverty.”
That’s the answer of a confident person, a person at peace even in
difficulty. Grant wouldn’t have chosen this situation, but he wasn’t
going to let it affect his sense of self. Besides, he was too busy trying
to fix it where he could. Why hate himself for working for a living?
What was shameful about that?
Observers often commented on Grant’s unshakable confidence in
battle. When other generals were convinced that defeat was
imminent, Grant never was. He knew he just needed to stay the
course. He also knew that losing hope—or his cool—was unlikely to
help anything.
With similar equanimity, he was equally unchanged by his
success and power in later years, not just leading a powerful army
but spending eight years as a world leader. (Charles Dana observed
of Grant that he was an “unpretending hero, whom no ill omens
could deject and no triumph unduly exalt.”) After his presidency,
Grant visited the old cabin where he and his wife had lived in those
hard days. One of his aides pointed out what an incredible rags-to-
barry
(Barry)
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