2020-03-23_The_Big_Issue_UserUpload.Net

30 | BIGISSUE.COM 23-29 MARCH 2020

CULTURE

|

BOOKS

P

eoplearealwaysaskingme

whenandwhyI startedmy

collectionandmuseum.And

I justdon’thaveananswer.

I don’tthinkI knowtheanswerto

anything.I feelI ama lostina great

bigcosmicsoup.I haveneverfounda

metanarrativethatI wanttosubscribe

toandIdoubtIeverwill.Thatismy

answertowhatI amdoingandwhy– I

amtryingtocreatea CabinetofWonders

• somethingthatthrowsupandglorifies
  thingsIfinddisturbing,beautiful,
  diverse,marvellous,disgusting,obscene,
  extraordinary,messyandconfusing.
  I’vefilledmymuseumandmynew
  bookwiththingsthatI loveandhowI
  cantellmystorytoyouall.Itisa canvas
  andI ampaintinga pictureonit.It’s
  notanhonestpictureandmanyofthe
  storiesItelldidn’thappen,orifthey
  didhappen,theydidn’thappentome,
  orevenquitelikethat.However,itis
  a mirrorandthroughdistortionand
  representationit maysaysomething
  aboutthe‘conditionhumaine’.
  Thecollectionstartedintheearly
  1990swhenI waslivinginMiamianda
  neighbourshowedmeeBay.Forsome
  reasonI stumbledonanarticulated
  humanbabyfoetusandI wantedit.I
  didn’thave$800– I hadbarelythe$1
  neededforthecreamycheeseandbean
  burritosfromtheTacoBellthatI lived
  on–butitwassunnyandtropical,and
  peoplewerepretty.Someofthem– one
  oftheminparticular– wereverypretty.
  ButMiamiwasn’tforme,orratherthe
  prettygirlsdidn’tlikeme,soImoved
  backtoLondon.InLondonI discovered
  a websitecalledZoobaythatonlysold
  deadanimalsandpeople.I washooked.
  I hadhadnoideathatsuchthingswere
  obtainablebymeremortalsandworking
  inclublandI sometimesfoundmyself
  veryhungoverwithlargebundlesof
  cashandanemptydaytofill.Soone
  dayI answeredanadvertfora shrunken
  headandfoundmyselfina council
  houseindeepestEssexlookingatthree
  19th-centuryfoetuses–allcutinhalfand
  sleepinggentlyinaclearfluid.Reader:
  Iboughtthemall,tookthemhomeand
  putthemonmykitchendresser.
  AfterthatIrapidlychangedfrom
  thesortofpersonwho’dbeabletofitall
  myworldlygoodsintoonebagintothe
  inhabitant of a large loft overflowing

Illustration: Joseph Joyce

AvisittoViktorWynd’s

UnnaturalHistoryMuseumof

gloriouscuriositiesis a unique

insight into the human mind

AUTHORFEATURE

For the

love of odd

withthings.Ibecameaddictedtocollecting,

whichisdefinitelyapsychologicalcondition.

I hadtoraisefundstobuythethingsI

needed.I hadtosellthingstogetthingsI

wantedmore.I lookedattheminmarvel

andbegantobuilda storyusingeverything

thatIloved.Followinglifelongdesires,I

trackeddownoutsiderporninobscure

backstreetshopswithrathertoogrown-up

prices.I visitedoldcollectorsandwent

intotheirattics,emptyingoutcardboard

boxesfilledwithdodobones,Surrealist

paintingsandhumanskulls.I lookedunder

theirbedsandsofas,teasingoutoccult

drawings,magicalobjects,rareseashells

andmysteriousplants.

InEastAngliaI wenttoarchitectural

salvageyardsandexplainedI was

interestedinMagick,wonderingifthey’d

foundanythingintheoldbuildings– a

mummifiedhumanhandperhaps?A

magicalstoneoraboxofspells?Most

laughedbutIdidbuyaveryfinemummified

cat.I travelledtoNewGuineaandCongo

insearchofthemasksandcarvingsthat

hadentrancedmesincemychildhood

visitstothePittRiversMuseuminOxford,

HornimaninSouthLondon,andMusée

de l’Homme in Paris, and I found them

andbroughtthemhome.

I’manartist,asculptor,awriter,a

storyteller,soofcourseI’vemadethingsas

well.Lotsofthings,somelikeunicornsand

mermaids,youmightperhapsbeexcused

forrecognising.OthersIdon’tthinkit

isrelevanttotell.I’vealsoalwaysbattled

withGerald,everthere,eversittingatmy

shoulderandbeingmiserable,tellingmeto

stayinbedandremindingmeofmyalltoo

manyinadequacies.Heisa miserablesodso

I’vetriedtofillmymuseumwiththingsthat

willmakemelaugh,becausewhenIsmile

andwhenI’mhappyhegetsverysmalland

hisvoicegetsveryquiet,hegetsespecially

annoyedwiththebooksI buywithsillytitles

• likeTheArt ofFakingIt,ExhibitionPoultry,
  TheNaughtyNunorRats for ThoseWho Care.
  Well,itismymind,theinsideofmyhead,
  that’sondisplayinmymuseum,insidemy
  book.I thinkit mightbequitelikeyour
  mind,orbitsofitmightbe–theonlywayto
  tellisif youcomeandhavea poke around.
  Please do – you are invited.

TheUnnaturalHistoryMuseum

byViktorWynd

is out now (Prestel, £35)