186 W H A T EVERY BODY IS SAYING
BOX 52: THE SMILE BAROMETERWith practice, it won’t take you long to distinguish between a fake smile
and the real thing. One easy way to speed the learning process is to
watch how people you know greet others based on how they feel about
them. For example, if you know your business partner feels good about
individual A and dislikes individual B and both have been invited to an
office party he is hosting, watch his face as he meets each person at the
door. You’ll be able to distinguish the two types of smiles in no time at all!
Once you can distinguish between a false and real smile, you can use
it as a barometer of how people really feel about you and you can respond
accordingly. You can also look for the different types of smiles to gauge
how your ideas or suggestions are coming across to the listener. Ideas
that are greeted with genuine smiles should be explored further and put
on the fast-track to-do list. Suggestions that are met with the fake smile
should be reevaluated or put on the back burner.
This smile barometer works with friends, spouses, co-workers, chil-
dren, and even your boss. It provides information about people’s feelings
in all types and phases of interpersonal interaction.A False Smile and a Real SmileIt is well known by researchers that humans have both a fake and a real
smile (Ekman, 2003, 205–207). The fake smile is used almost as a social
obligation toward those who are not close to us, while the real smile is
reserved for those people and events we truly care about (see box 52).
A real smile appears primarily because of the action of two muscles:
the zygomaticus major, which stretches from the corner of the mouth to
the cheekbone, and the orbicularis oculi, which surrounds the eye. When
working together bilaterally, these draw the corners of the mouth up and
crinkle the outer edges of the eyes, causing the crow’s feet of a familiar
warm and honest smile (see figure 72).