208 W H A T EVERY BODY IS SAYING
913–920). Even those who are truly gifted at detecting deception (proba-
bly less than 1 percent of the general population) seldom are right more
than 60 percent of the time. Consider the countless jurors who must de-
termine honesty or dishonesty, guilt or innocence, based on what they
think are deceptive behaviors. Unfortunately, those behaviors most often
mistaken for dishonesty are primarily manifestations of stress, not decep-
tion (Ekman, 1991, 187–188). That’s why I live by the motto taught to me
by those who know that there is no single behavior that is indicative of
deception—not one (Ekman, 1991, 162–189).
This does not mean that we should abandon our efforts to study de-
ception and observe for behaviors that, in context, are suggestive of it. My
advice is to set a realistic goal: to be able to read nonverbal behaviors with
clarity and reliability, and let the human body speak to you as to what it
is thinking, feeling, or intending. These are more reasonable objectives
that, in the end, will not only help you understand others more effec-
tively (lying isn’t the only behavior worth detecting!), but will also give
you clues to deception as a byproduct of your observations.
What Makes Deception So Difficult to Detect?If you’re wondering why identifying deception is so difficult, consider
the old adage “Practice makes perfect.” We learn to lie at such an early
age—and we do it so often—that we become skillful at telling false-
hoods convincingly. To illustrate, think of how often you have heard
something like, “Tell them we are not home,” or “Put on a party smile,”
or “Don’t tell your dad what happened or we’ll both be in trouble.” Be-
cause we are social animals, we not only lie for our own benefit, but we
lie for the benefit of each other (Vrij, 2003, 3–11). Lying can be a way to
avoid giving a lengthy explanation, an attempt to avoid punishment, a
shortcut to a bogus doctoral degree, or it can simply be used to be nice.
Even our cosmetics and padded clothing help us to deceive. In essence,
for us humans, lying is a “tool for social survival” (St-Yves, 2007).