36 WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING
BOX 9: A BRAIN THAT DOESN’T FORGETThe limbic brain is like a computer that receives and retains data from the
outside world. In doing so, it compiles and maintains a record of negative
events and experiences (a burned finger from a hot stove, an assault by a
human or animal predator, or even hurtful comments) as well as pleasant
encounters. Using this information, the limbic brain allows us to navigate
a dangerous and often unforgiving world (Goleman, 1995, 10–21). For
example, once the limbic system registers an animal as dangerous, that
impression becomes embedded in our emotional memory so that the
next time we see that animal, we will react instantly. Likewise, if we run
into the “class bully” twenty years later, negative feelings of long ago will
percolate to the surface once more, thanks to the limbic brain.
The reason it is often difficult to forget when someone has hurt us is
because that experience registers in the more primitive limbic system,
which is the part of the brain designed not to reason but to react (Gole-
man, 1995, 207). I recently encountered an individual with whom I was
never on the best of terms. It had been four years since I had last seen
this person, yet my visceral (limbic) reactions were just as negative as
they had been years ago. My brain was reminding me that this individual
takes advantage of others, so it was warning me to stay away. This phe-
nomenon is precisely what Gavin de Becker was talking about in his in-
sightful book, The Gift of Fear.
Conversely, the limbic system also works efficiently to register and
retain a record of positive events and experiences (e.g., satisfaction of
basic needs, praise, and enjoyable interpersonal relationships). Thus, a
friendly or familiar face will cause an immediate reaction—a sense of
pleasure and well-being. The feelings of euphoria when we see an old
friend or recognize a pleasant smell from childhood occur because those
encounters have been registered in the “comfort zone” of the memory
bank associated with our limbic system.