50 WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING
(2) Establish a pacifying baseline for an individual. That way you
can note any increase and/or intensity in that person’s pacifying
behaviors and react accordingly.
(3) When you see a person make a pacifying gesture, stop and ask
yourself, “What caused him to do that?” You know the indi-
vidual feels uneasy about something. Your job, as a collector of
nonverbal intelligence, is to find out what that something is.
(4) Understand that pacifying behaviors almost always are used to
calm a person after a stressful event occurs. Thus, as a general
principle, you can assume that if an individual is engaged in
pacifying behavior, some stressful event or stimulus has pre-
ceded it and caused it to happen.
(5) The ability to link a pacifying behavior with the specific
stressor that caused it can help you better understand the per-
son with whom you are interacting.
(6) In certain circumstances you can actually say or do something to
see if it stresses an individual (as ref lected in an increase in pacify-
ing behaviors) to better understand his thoughts and intentions.
(7) Note what part of the body a person pacifies. This is signifi-
cant, because the higher the stress, the greater the amount of
facial or neck stroking is involved.
(8) Remember, the greater the stress or discomfort, the greater the
likelihood of pacifying behaviors to follow.Pacifiers are a great way to assess for comfort and discomfort. In a
sense, pacifying behaviors are “supporting players” in our limbic reac-
tions. Yet they reveal much about our emotional state and how we are
truly feeling.
A FINAL NOTE ON OUR LIMBIC LEGACYYou now are in possession of information that is unknown to most people.
You are aware that we have a very robust survival mechanism (freeze,