The Washington Post - 24.02.2020

d2 eZ sU the washington post.monday, february 24 , 2020

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There’s a simple solution to what MLB should do to the Astros: Vacate their title

Simply p ut — and
I realize I am last
in on t his, b ut I
write only once a
week, and I also
sleep i n weekday
mornings, m ainly
to avoid bad n ews — Major
League Baseball s hould vacate
the Houston A stros’ 2 017 World
Series title.
I understand there is some
Astros fatigue right now, but this
sign-stealing saga has generated
more reader mail than any issue I
can remember. In f act, if I paid out
$1.25 to every Astros-related “A sk
The Slouch” s ubmission, I would
be writing this column at a l oss.
Plus, every time another layer
is pulled off this Astros scandal,
something t ells me we will f ind
something e lse sordid.
Eventually, we will discover the
Astros also had a hand in t he
Great Chicago F ire, t he
kidnapping o f the Lindbergh
baby and t he Watergate coverup.
So how far have we fallen a s a
once reasonably minded group of
revolutionaries pulling away

from British oppression?

The Astros — following t he
lead from Wall Street t o the White
House — not only d ecided to
flimflam repeatedly but, once
caught, took a “get over it” s tance.

Many A stros opponents,
unhappy with Commissioner Rob
Manfred’s let’s-just-move-on
jurisprudence, have spoken of
taking justice i nto their own
hands — by throwing at A stros
batters; of course, this follows the
old L atin “an eye for a n eye and a
90-mph f astball at y our head for a
tooth” c redo.

Naturally, w e can gamble o n
how many times A stros betters
are hit b y a pitch. At William Hill
sportsbook, the latest over-under
season total is 8 1.5; t here’s
something v ery American about
the a bility t o wager on players
getting assaulted by baseballs.
Meanwhile, we heard t his
month, pitifully so, from Astros
owner Jim Crane and A stros
players, all o f whom stepped to
the p late a nd s aid nothing —
apparently they c annot speak
unless they know what pitch is

coming. (We did not h ear much f rom defrocked general manager Jeff Luhnow or defrocked manager A.J. Hinch, both r elocated in Major League Baseball’s new witless p rotection p rogram.) Harry S. Truman famously had a sign on h is d esk that said, “The buck stops here.” Crane’s v ersion of that is, “The buck s tops d own the h all and to the r ight, in an office adjacent t o the men’s restroom.” Crane c ontended t hat the electronically aided s ign-stealing “didn’t i mpact the g ame.” I n his defense, I will say this: If I played on the Astros, I probably would hit. 000. And if I knew w hat pitch was c oming every time, I still probably w ould hit .000. The Astros’ spring t raining apology tour c an b e summed up in a dozen words: “We’re sorry, b ut we’re not THAT sorry — we are s till t he 2017 champions.” Manfred acknowledged he could have stripped the A stros of their title, b ut he said: “There are

a lot of things that have h appened in the history of the game that arguably c ould be c orrected. And I just think i t’s an impossible task for a n institution t o undertake.” No, it ’s n ot an impossible task. You know what’s an impossible task? l Making a full-bodied cabernet s auvignon without a single g rape. l Leaving Ta llahassee o n Monday in a hot-air balloon and landing o n Mars b y Friday. l Convincing Skip Bayless he is wrong about a nything. This was a simple task: The World Series champions had gamed the game for the e ntirety of their title season. They b roke MLB r ules in wide-scale fashion, again a nd again — it’s called CHEATING. If a high s chool kid scores 95 on a biology test and it’s discovered he h ad the answers beforehand, do you still give him an “A” o n the exam? You vacate the Astros’ championship. Case closed. Like Baretta used to s ay, “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the

time.” Manfred said e ven putting a n asterisk on the Astros’ title doesn’t make “ that much difference.” Let’s test t hat. Example A: T he Houston Astros a re 2017 World S eries champions. Example B: The Houston As*tros a re 2017 World Series champions.* * Actually, they’re not — they CHEATED. I have to say, s hort of t aking the Astros’ title away, Example B looks a whole l ot better to me than Example A.

Ask The Slouch Q. You recently wrote, “ March showers b ring April flowers.” Did you g et p ermission from t he EPA to update the original expression, “A pril showers bring May flowers”? (Dudley Chase; St. Inigoes, Md.) A. L isten, pal, I have been ahead o f the climate-change curve since getting drenched in a Las Vegas rainstorm o n St.

Patrick’s D ay 1 999. Q. I j ust read your b ook, “Hold On, Honey, I ’ll Ta ke You to the Hospital at Halftime.” Please tell me you wouldn’t r eally wait u ntil halftime. ( Ray Hauley; Valatie, N.Y.) A. I did. And my f irst ex-wife did n ot wait until g ame’s e nd to leave me. Q. You wrote that you h ate the XFL, yet you pick XFL games on YouTube. Are you a hypocrite? (Jason Karlin; C hicago) A. The Greek actor Hypokrites was a hypocrite; I’m just trying to make a living i n an ever-changing media universe. Q. What is Michael Strahan doing these days now that h e is no longer playing f ootball? It’s l ike he dropped off the f ace of the earth. (Steve Owings; Spokane, Wash.) A. Pay the man, Shirley.

you, too, can enter the $1.25 ask the slouch cash giveaway. Just email asktheslouch@aol, and if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!

Couch
Slouch

norman
Chad

roundup

man u. tops watford bruno Fernandes coolly rolled in a penalty for his first goal for manchester United to set his new team on its way to a 3- 0 win over relegation- threatened Watford in the english Premier League on sunday.

anthony martial also netted, for the third straight game, and teenager mason greenwood added a brilliant third goal as United climbed above tottenham and

sheffield United into fifth in the standings. that would be a champions League qualification place following manchester city’s recent two- season ban from european competitions by UeFa.

Fernandes, who came over from sporting Lisbon in January, got on t he scoresheet for the first time against visiting Watford.

Pierre-emerick aubameyang scored two goals — leaving him tied with a league-

leading 17 with Leicester’s Jamie vardy — in arsenal’s 3- 2 home win over everton, and Wolverhampton beat visiting norwich, 3-0.

lazio prevails L azio won, 3-2, at relegation-threatened genoa in one of only two matches to go ahead in Italian serie a following the coronavirus outbreak.

Lazio is within a point of serie a leader Juventus, which won, 2-1, at spal on

saturday.

Lazio moved five points above third- place Inter milan.

the nerazzurri’s match against sampdoria was one of three serie a matches postponed on orders from the Italian government late saturday night after the deaths of two people infected with the virus from china.

atlético rallies s ubstitute João Félix returned from injury

and scored his first goal in more than two months to help atlético madrid get back in the fight for a champions League berth.

atlético’s 3-1 win at home over villarreal lifted the team into third place in the spanish league.

atlético is level on points with fourth- place sevilla, which leapfrogged getafe by dealing the season’s surprise team a stinging 3-0 home defeat.

neymar tossed neymar was sent off as Paris saint- germain overcame more sloppy defending to beat visiting bordeaux, 4-3, and move 13 points clear in the Fr ench league.

a milestone bayer Leverkusen’s Kai Havertz, 20, became the third- youngest player to record 50 wins in the german bundesliga as his team beat visiting augsburg, 2-0.

— Associated Press

BY STEVEN GOFF

On the eve of the Women’s World Cup final this past summer in France, U.S. star Megan Rapi- noe caught many by surprise by saying kind things about the U.S. Soccer Federation. After all, four months earlier the national team players had sued the governing body for gender discrimination, and for years, they have grumbled the USSF does not treat them as well as the less successful men’s program. But on that day outside Lyon, Rapinoe said at a news confer- ence that “I’m the first one to step up and fight with them and nudge them a little more, but they have backed us tremendously in com- parison to every other federation in the world. I don’t think it’s close. That’s why we’ve been able to be as successful and as domi- nant for as long as we have. “We don’t often give them ku- dos, but that’s definitely one I’m willing to give.” In essence, Rapinoe credited the USSF for being a global trail- blazer in women’s soccer while urging it to make domestic gains. Needing to address matters on the field and in the courtroom, it has been a balancing act for both sides. Amid some friction, they have continued to coexist. At training camp, it’s all busi- ness, and interaction with federation officials is cordial. However, as the world’s top-

ranked team preps for the Olym- pics this summer in Japan, the sides continue to maneuver in the legal arena. With a trial set to begin May 5, both the players and federation last week filed motions of sum- mary judgment. In their filing, the players revealed they are seeking almost $67 million in damages. In asking for dismissal, the federation cited separate collec- tive bargaining agreements for the men and women. The women receive base salaries and earn bonuses, while the men collect appearance fees and bonuses only. “The women’s national team players are paid differently be- cause they specifically asked for, and negotiated, a completely different contract than the men’s national team, despite being offered, and rejecting, a similar pay-to-play agreement during the past negotiations,” t he USSF said in the recent court filing. “Their preference was a contract that provides significant additional benefits that the men’s national team does not have.” The federation said the women, through a CBA that runs through 2021, receive guaranteed annual salaries, medical and den- tal insurance, paid child-care as- sistance, paid pregnancy and pa- rental leave, severance benefits, salary continuation during peri- ods of injury, access to a retire-

ment plan and multiple bonuses. Molly Levinson, spokeswoman for the players, countered by saying in a statement: “In the most recent CBA negotiation, USSF repeatedly said equal pay was not an option regardless of pay structure. USSF proposed a pay-to- play structure [for the female players] with less pay across the board. In every instance for a friendly or competitive match, the women players were offered less pay than their male counter- parts. “This is the very definition of gender discrimination, and of course the players rejected it.” In the USSF’s 2018 tax statement, as first reported last week by The Washington Post, all the top-earning players were women. The reason, though, is the women are also paid by the federation to play in the National Women’s Soccer League; the men make almost all of their money through contracts with clubs around the world. The USSF has underwritten the women’s league since its 2013 launch by paying the salaries of the elite American players. The suing players say NWSL assignments are on top of what they do as a perennial interna- tional powerhouse. The women’s team has not lost since a January 2019 friendly at France, and this month it stretched its unbeaten streak to 28 (25-0-3) by storming through the Concacaf Olympic

qualifying tournament without conceding a goal. Both sides will make their case by using the words of their coun- terparts against them. In a deposition this winter, USSF President Carlos Cordeiro was asked about a campaign statement in which he said, “Our female players have not been treated equally.” And in Rapinoe’s deposition, the USSF inquired about an inter- view in which she said: “Our pay structure is different. We play different games. We’re different rankings in the world, like it’s j ust apples to oranges.” The gender-equity issue ex- tends to the coaches, though there are no lawsuits involved. The 2018 tax records show the federation paid substantially greater salaries to m en’s national team coaches than women’s coach Jill Ellis, who won consecu- tive World Cup titles before step- ping down in the fall. While the court date nears, the national team will try to remain focused on a fifth Olympic gold medal. Under new coach Vlatko Andonovski, training camp will resume this week in the Orlando area ahead of the fifth annual SheBelieves Cup. The United States will face No. 6 England on March 5 in Orlando, No. 13 Spain on March 8 in Harrison, N.J., and No. 10 Japan on March 11 in Frisco, Te x. [email protected]

As U.S. women win, court fight awaits

bob Levey/agence France-Presse/getty Images Megan Rapinoe and the U.S. women’s national team haven’t lost since January 201 9. Now they are challenging the U.S. Soccer Federation.

soccer insider

auto racing

Newman suffered

head injury in crash

Ryan Newman said he
suffered a head injury during his
crash on the last lap of the
Daytona 500 but did not disclose
details in a statement from the
driver that was released before
Sunday’s NASCAR Cup race at
Las Vegas Motor Speedway.
“I was fortunate to avoid any
internal organ damage or broken
bones. I did sustain a head injury
for which I’m currently being
treated,” Newman wrote. “The
doctors have been pleased with
my progression over the last few
days.”
There is no timetable for
Newman’s return, but Roush
Fenway Racing said the 42-year-
old is determined to get back on
the track.
“He has expressed
unequivocally that this is where
he wants to be and he wants to
be back in a racecar,” Roush
President Steve Newmark said.
Newmark added that Newman
intends to race for the Cup
championship this season....
Joey Logano won the race at
Las Vegas Motor Speedway in a
two-lap sprint to the finish that
ended under caution.
Logano, winner of this race a
year ago, put his No. 22 Ford for
Te am Penske in Victory Lane by
holding off runner-up Matt
DiBenedetto, Ricky Stenhouse
Jr. and Austin Dillon.
A caution with six laps
remaining complicated the race
to the finish; all but seven cars
on the lead lap headed to pit
road for tires. Crew chief Paul
Wolfe, working with Logano for
just the second race, called for
his driver to come in. But Logano
didn’t catch the directive on his
radio, stayed out and moved into
the lead. He had six other cars
behind him on old tires but
17 cars with fresh tires.
It didn’t matter: Logano got a
great jump on the restart and
was too far out front for the
outcome to be altered when the
caution waved on the final lap.
Logano already had taken the
white flag, so he was credited
with the win....
Chase Briscoe won the rain-
delayed Xfinity Series race at Las
Vegas Motor Speedway. Austin
Cindric was second to give Ford
a 1-2 finish.

college football
Colorado reached into the
NFL ranks again to find its next
coach, luring Karl Dorrell back
to Boulder from the Miami
Dolphins.
Dorrell was the Dolphins’

wide receivers coach in 2019 and had recently been promoted to assistant head coach. He was an assistant coach for the Buffaloes under coaches Bill McCartney and Rick Neuheisel in the 1990s. The move came two weeks after Mel Tucker left for Michigan State. Tucker, who had a decade of experience in the NFL, was 5-7 in one season after arriving from Georgia.

pro football Joe Powell scored on a kickoff return after taking a lateral from Keith Mumphery, and the XFL’s St. Louis BattleHawks went on to post a 29-9 victory over the visiting New York Guardians. Matt Jones and Christine Michael contributed rushing touchdowns for St. Louis (2-1). Luis Perez had a late touchdown pass to Austin Duke for New York (1-2).

winter sports Francesco Friedrich of Germany became the most decorated driver in the history of bobsledding’s world championships when he won a record-setting 10th gold medal. In Altenberg, Germany, Friedrich and brakeman Thorsten Margis finished off an easy win in the two-man event, completing their four runs in 3 minutes 40.44 seconds. That was 1.65 seconds faster than Johannes Lochner and Christopher Weber of Germany and represented the biggest winning margin at a world title race in 12 years. Friedrich has won the two- man world title six straight times. He’s a two-time world champion in four-man and has two other golds from overall team events.... In Winterberg, Germany, Russia’s Aleksandr Denisev and Vladislav Antonov were easy winners in a watered-down World Cup doubles luge race as many of the top sliders sat out to protest the track conditions.... Federica Brignone now leads the World Cup overall standings ahead of Mikaela Shiffrin after winning an Alpine combined event in Crans-Montana, Switzerland.

tennis Reilly Opelka topped Yoshihito Nishioka, 7-5, 6-7 ( 7-4), 6-2, to win the Delray Beach (Fla.) Open championship for his second ATP title.... Stefanos Tsitsipas beat Felix Auger-Aliassime, 6-3, 6-4, to retain the Open 13 title in Marseille, France. — From news services and staff reports

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The Washington Post - 24.02.2020

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