d2 eZ sU the washington post.monday, february 24 , 2020
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There’s a simple solution to what MLB should do to the Astros: Vacate their title
Simply p ut — and
I realize I am last
in on t his, b ut I
write only once a
week, and I also
sleep i n weekday
mornings, m ainly
to avoid bad n ews — Major
League Baseball s hould vacate
the Houston A stros’ 2 017 World
Series title.
I understand there is some
Astros fatigue right now, but this
sign-stealing saga has generated
more reader mail than any issue I
can remember. In f act, if I paid out
$1.25 to every Astros-related “A sk
The Slouch” s ubmission, I would
be writing this column at a l oss.
Plus, every time another layer
is pulled off this Astros scandal,
something t ells me we will f ind
something e lse sordid.
Eventually, we will discover the
Astros also had a hand in t he
Great Chicago F ire, t he
kidnapping o f the Lindbergh
baby and t he Watergate coverup.
So how far have we fallen a s a
once reasonably minded group of
revolutionaries pulling away
from British oppression?
- The Astros — following t he
lead from Wall Street t o the White
House — not only d ecided to
flimflam repeatedly but, once
caught, took a “get over it” s tance. - Many A stros opponents,
unhappy with Commissioner Rob
Manfred’s let’s-just-move-on
jurisprudence, have spoken of
taking justice i nto their own
hands — by throwing at A stros
batters; of course, this follows the
old L atin “an eye for a n eye and a
90-mph f astball at y our head for a
tooth” c redo. - Naturally, w e can gamble o n
how many times A stros betters
are hit b y a pitch. At William Hill
sportsbook, the latest over-under
season total is 8 1.5; t here’s
something v ery American about
the a bility t o wager on players
getting assaulted by baseballs.
Meanwhile, we heard t his
month, pitifully so, from Astros
owner Jim Crane and A stros
players, all o f whom stepped to
the p late a nd s aid nothing —
apparently they c annot speak
unless they know what pitch is
coming.
(We did not h ear much f rom
defrocked general manager Jeff
Luhnow or defrocked manager
A.J. Hinch, both r elocated in
Major League Baseball’s new
witless p rotection p rogram.)
Harry S. Truman famously had
a sign on h is d esk that said, “The
buck stops here.” Crane’s v ersion
of that is, “The buck s tops d own
the h all and to the r ight, in an
office adjacent t o the men’s
restroom.”
Crane c ontended t hat the
electronically aided s ign-stealing
“didn’t i mpact the g ame.” I n his
defense, I will say this: If I played
on the Astros, I probably would
hit. 000. And if I knew w hat pitch
was c oming every time, I still
probably w ould hit .000.
The Astros’ spring t raining
apology tour c an b e summed up
in a dozen words:
“We’re sorry, b ut we’re not
THAT sorry — we are s till t he 2017
champions.”
Manfred acknowledged he
could have stripped the A stros of
their title, b ut he said: “There are
a lot of things that have h appened
in the history of the game that
arguably c ould be c orrected. And
I just think i t’s an impossible task
for a n institution t o undertake.”
No, it ’s n ot an impossible task.
You know what’s an impossible
task?
l Making a full-bodied
cabernet s auvignon without a
single g rape.
l Leaving Ta llahassee o n
Monday in a hot-air balloon and
landing o n Mars b y Friday.
l Convincing Skip Bayless he is
wrong about a nything.
This was a simple task: The
World Series champions had
gamed the game for the e ntirety
of their title season. They b roke
MLB r ules in wide-scale fashion,
again a nd again — it’s called
CHEATING. If a high s chool kid
scores 95 on a biology test and it’s
discovered he h ad the answers
beforehand, do you still give him
an “A” o n the exam?
You vacate the Astros’
championship. Case closed.
Like Baretta used to s ay, “Don’t
do the crime if you can’t do the
time.”
Manfred said e ven putting a n
asterisk on the Astros’ title
doesn’t make “ that much
difference.”
Let’s test t hat.
Example A: T he Houston
Astros a re 2017 World S eries
champions.
Example B: The Houston
As*tros a re 2017 World Series
champions.*
* Actually, they’re not — they
CHEATED.
I have to say, s hort of t aking the
Astros’ title away, Example B
looks a whole l ot better to me
than Example A.
Ask The Slouch
Q. You recently wrote, “ March
showers b ring April flowers.” Did
you g et p ermission from t he EPA
to update the original expression,
“A pril showers bring May
flowers”? (Dudley Chase; St.
Inigoes, Md.)
A. L isten, pal, I have been
ahead o f the climate-change
curve since getting drenched in a
Las Vegas rainstorm o n St.
Patrick’s D ay 1 999.
Q. I j ust read your b ook, “Hold
On, Honey, I ’ll Ta ke You to the
Hospital at Halftime.” Please tell
me you wouldn’t r eally wait u ntil
halftime. ( Ray Hauley; Valatie,
N.Y.)
A. I did. And my f irst ex-wife
did n ot wait until g ame’s e nd to
leave me.
Q. You wrote that you h ate the
XFL, yet you pick XFL games on
YouTube. Are you a hypocrite?
(Jason Karlin; C hicago)
A. The Greek actor Hypokrites
was a hypocrite; I’m just trying to
make a living i n an ever-changing
media universe.
Q. What is Michael Strahan
doing these days now that h e is no
longer playing f ootball? It’s l ike
he dropped off the f ace of the
earth. (Steve Owings; Spokane,
Wash.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
you, too, can enter the $1.25 ask the
slouch cash giveaway. Just email
asktheslouch@aol, and if your
question is used, you win $1.25 in
cash!
Couch
Slouch
norman
Chad
roundup
man u. tops
watford
bruno Fernandes
coolly rolled in a
penalty for his first
goal for manchester
United to set his new
team on its way to a 3-
0 win over relegation-
threatened Watford in
the english Premier
League on sunday.
anthony martial also
netted, for the third
straight game, and
teenager mason
greenwood added a
brilliant third goal as
United climbed above
tottenham and
sheffield United into
fifth in the standings.
that would be a
champions League
qualification place
following manchester
city’s recent two-
season ban from
european
competitions by UeFa.
Fernandes, who came
over from sporting
Lisbon in January, got
on t he scoresheet for
the first time against
visiting Watford.
Pierre-emerick
aubameyang scored
two goals — leaving
him tied with a league-
leading 17 with
Leicester’s Jamie
vardy — in arsenal’s 3-
2 home win over
everton, and
Wolverhampton beat
visiting norwich, 3-0.
lazio prevails
L azio won, 3-2, at
relegation-threatened
genoa in one of only
two matches to go
ahead in Italian serie
a following the
coronavirus outbreak.
Lazio is within a point
of serie a leader
Juventus, which won,
2-1, at spal on
saturday.
Lazio moved five
points above third-
place Inter milan.
the nerazzurri’s
match against
sampdoria was one of
three serie a matches
postponed on orders
from the Italian
government late
saturday night after
the deaths of two
people infected with
the virus from china.
atlético rallies
s ubstitute João Félix
returned from injury
and scored his first
goal in more than two
months to help
atlético madrid get
back in the fight for a
champions League
berth.
atlético’s 3-1 win at
home over villarreal
lifted the team into
third place in the
spanish league.
atlético is level on
points with fourth-
place sevilla, which
leapfrogged getafe by
dealing the season’s
surprise team a
stinging 3-0 home
defeat.
neymar tossed
neymar was sent off
as Paris saint-
germain overcame
more sloppy defending
to beat visiting
bordeaux, 4-3, and
move 13 points clear
in the Fr ench league.
a milestone
bayer Leverkusen’s
Kai Havertz, 20,
became the third-
youngest player to
record 50 wins in the
german bundesliga as
his team beat visiting
augsburg, 2-0.
— Associated Press
BY STEVEN GOFF
On the eve of the Women’s
World Cup final this past summer
in France, U.S. star Megan Rapi-
noe caught many by surprise by
saying kind things about the U.S.
Soccer Federation.
After all, four months earlier
the national team players had
sued the governing body for gen-
der discrimination, and for years,
they have grumbled the USSF
does not treat them as well as the
less successful men’s program.
But on that day outside Lyon,
Rapinoe said at a news confer-
ence that “I’m the first one to step
up and fight with them and nudge
them a little more, but they have
backed us tremendously in com-
parison to every other federation
in the world. I don’t think it’s
close. That’s why we’ve been able
to be as successful and as domi-
nant for as long as we have.
“We don’t often give them ku-
dos, but that’s definitely one I’m
willing to give.”
In essence, Rapinoe credited
the USSF for being a global trail-
blazer in women’s soccer while
urging it to make domestic gains.
Needing to address matters on
the field and in the courtroom, it
has been a balancing act for both
sides. Amid some friction, they
have continued to coexist.
At training camp, it’s all busi-
ness, and interaction with federa-
tion officials is cordial.
However, as the world’s top-
ranked team preps for the Olym-
pics this summer in Japan, the
sides continue to maneuver in the
legal arena.
With a trial set to begin May 5,
both the players and federation
last week filed motions of sum-
mary judgment. In their filing,
the players revealed they are
seeking almost $67 million in
damages.
In asking for dismissal, the
federation cited separate collec-
tive bargaining agreements for
the men and women. The women
receive base salaries and earn
bonuses, while the men collect
appearance fees and bonuses
only.
“The women’s national team
players are paid differently be-
cause they specifically asked for,
and negotiated, a completely dif-
ferent contract than the men’s
national team, despite being of-
fered, and rejecting, a similar
pay-to-play agreement during the
past negotiations,” t he USSF said
in the recent court filing. “Their
preference was a contract that
provides significant additional
benefits that the men’s national
team does not have.”
The federation said the wom-
en, through a CBA that runs
through 2021, receive guaranteed
annual salaries, medical and den-
tal insurance, paid child-care as-
sistance, paid pregnancy and pa-
rental leave, severance benefits,
salary continuation during peri-
ods of injury, access to a retire-
ment plan and multiple bonuses.
Molly Levinson, spokeswoman
for the players, countered by say-
ing in a statement: “In the most
recent CBA negotiation, USSF re-
peatedly said equal pay was not
an option regardless of pay struc-
ture. USSF proposed a pay-to-
play structure [for the female
players] with less pay across the
board. In every instance for a
friendly or competitive match,
the women players were offered
less pay than their male counter-
parts.
“This is the very definition of
gender discrimination, and of
course the players rejected it.”
In the USSF’s 2018 tax state-
ment, as first reported last week
by The Washington Post, all the
top-earning players were women.
The reason, though, is the women
are also paid by the federation to
play in the National Women’s
Soccer League; the men make
almost all of their money through
contracts with clubs around the
world.
The USSF has underwritten
the women’s league since its 2013
launch by paying the salaries of
the elite American players.
The suing players say NWSL
assignments are on top of what
they do as a perennial interna-
tional powerhouse. The women’s
team has not lost since a January
2019 friendly at France, and this
month it stretched its unbeaten
streak to 28 (25-0-3) by storming
through the Concacaf Olympic
qualifying tournament without
conceding a goal.
Both sides will make their case
by using the words of their coun-
terparts against them.
In a deposition this winter,
USSF President Carlos Cordeiro
was asked about a campaign
statement in which he said, “Our
female players have not been
treated equally.”
And in Rapinoe’s deposition,
the USSF inquired about an inter-
view in which she said: “Our pay
structure is different. We play
different games. We’re different
rankings in the world, like it’s j ust
apples to oranges.”
The gender-equity issue ex-
tends to the coaches, though
there are no lawsuits involved.
The 2018 tax records show the
federation paid substantially
greater salaries to m en’s national
team coaches than women’s
coach Jill Ellis, who won consecu-
tive World Cup titles before step-
ping down in the fall.
While the court date nears, the
national team will try to remain
focused on a fifth Olympic gold
medal. Under new coach Vlatko
Andonovski, training camp will
resume this week in the Orlando
area ahead of the fifth annual
SheBelieves Cup.
The United States will face
No. 6 England on March 5 in
Orlando, No. 13 Spain on March 8
in Harrison, N.J., and No. 10
Japan on March 11 in Frisco, Te x.
[email protected]
As U.S. women win, court fight awaits
bob Levey/agence France-Presse/getty Images
Megan Rapinoe and the U.S. women’s national team haven’t lost since January 201 9. Now they are challenging the U.S. Soccer Federation.
soccer insider
auto racing
Newman suffered
head injury in crash
Ryan Newman said he
suffered a head injury during his
crash on the last lap of the
Daytona 500 but did not disclose
details in a statement from the
driver that was released before
Sunday’s NASCAR Cup race at
Las Vegas Motor Speedway.
“I was fortunate to avoid any
internal organ damage or broken
bones. I did sustain a head injury
for which I’m currently being
treated,” Newman wrote. “The
doctors have been pleased with
my progression over the last few
days.”
There is no timetable for
Newman’s return, but Roush
Fenway Racing said the 42-year-
old is determined to get back on
the track.
“He has expressed
unequivocally that this is where
he wants to be and he wants to
be back in a racecar,” Roush
President Steve Newmark said.
Newmark added that Newman
intends to race for the Cup
championship this season....
Joey Logano won the race at
Las Vegas Motor Speedway in a
two-lap sprint to the finish that
ended under caution.
Logano, winner of this race a
year ago, put his No. 22 Ford for
Te am Penske in Victory Lane by
holding off runner-up Matt
DiBenedetto, Ricky Stenhouse
Jr. and Austin Dillon.
A caution with six laps
remaining complicated the race
to the finish; all but seven cars
on the lead lap headed to pit
road for tires. Crew chief Paul
Wolfe, working with Logano for
just the second race, called for
his driver to come in. But Logano
didn’t catch the directive on his
radio, stayed out and moved into
the lead. He had six other cars
behind him on old tires but
17 cars with fresh tires.
It didn’t matter: Logano got a
great jump on the restart and
was too far out front for the
outcome to be altered when the
caution waved on the final lap.
Logano already had taken the
white flag, so he was credited
with the win....
Chase Briscoe won the rain-
delayed Xfinity Series race at Las
Vegas Motor Speedway. Austin
Cindric was second to give Ford
a 1-2 finish.
college football
Colorado reached into the
NFL ranks again to find its next
coach, luring Karl Dorrell back
to Boulder from the Miami
Dolphins.
Dorrell was the Dolphins’
wide receivers coach in 2019 and
had recently been promoted to
assistant head coach. He was an
assistant coach for the Buffaloes
under coaches Bill McCartney
and Rick Neuheisel in the 1990s.
The move came two weeks
after Mel Tucker left for
Michigan State. Tucker, who had
a decade of experience in the
NFL, was 5-7 in one season after
arriving from Georgia.
pro football
Joe Powell scored on a kickoff
return after taking a lateral from
Keith Mumphery, and the XFL’s
St. Louis BattleHawks went on to
post a 29-9 victory over the
visiting New York Guardians.
Matt Jones and Christine
Michael contributed rushing
touchdowns for St. Louis (2-1).
Luis Perez had a late touchdown
pass to Austin Duke for New
York (1-2).
winter sports
Francesco Friedrich of
Germany became the most
decorated driver in the history of
bobsledding’s world
championships when he won a
record-setting 10th gold medal.
In Altenberg, Germany,
Friedrich and brakeman
Thorsten Margis finished off an
easy win in the two-man event,
completing their four runs in
3 minutes 40.44 seconds. That
was 1.65 seconds faster than
Johannes Lochner and
Christopher Weber of Germany
and represented the biggest
winning margin at a world title
race in 12 years.
Friedrich has won the two-
man world title six straight
times. He’s a two-time world
champion in four-man and has
two other golds from overall
team events....
In Winterberg, Germany,
Russia’s Aleksandr Denisev and
Vladislav Antonov were easy
winners in a watered-down
World Cup doubles luge race as
many of the top sliders sat out to
protest the track conditions....
Federica Brignone now leads
the World Cup overall standings
ahead of Mikaela Shiffrin after
winning an Alpine combined
event in Crans-Montana,
Switzerland.
tennis
Reilly Opelka topped
Yoshihito Nishioka, 7-5, 6-7
( 7-4), 6-2, to win the Delray
Beach (Fla.) Open championship
for his second ATP title....
Stefanos Tsitsipas beat Felix
Auger-Aliassime, 6-3, 6-4, to
retain the Open 13 title in
Marseille, France.
— From news services
and staff reports
digest