TROLL HUNTERThreemodsthatmakeDarkSoulsabsurd
THANKSOBAMA
DEATHSCREEN
The“Thanks,Obama”deathscreen
fromBeakieHelmetis certainly
dated,butthejokeis timeless.FIDGETSPINNERSWEAPON
REPLACEMENTMOD
ModderAbjectimmortaliseswhat
feelslikeanancientfadina game
aboutthefoiblesofhumanity.Apt.GEORGECOSTANZA
PAINTINGSINANOR
LONDOMOD
ThismodfromRobobluesdoeswhat
it soundslike.Why?Whynot?commentingonthecyclicalnature of
greed,a potentsubversionand thesis
fortheseriesasa whole.
Asinfuriatingasthesetricks can
be,they’reremindersofthehuman
touchbehindeveryFromSoftware
game,andthatthedevteamknows
we’rehumantoo.Theyknow
humanityis doomedtorepeat the
samemistakesuntilourcollective
demise,theyknowFromgames are
punishingashell,buttheyalso know
we’resuckersforthelittlereasons we
keepcarryingon,forthoselittle
glimpsesoflightinthedark.where players learn to spot the chain
patterns next to each chest that
determine whether they’re a mimic
or not. But it always takes some time
for them to show up. That is until
Dark Souls 3, where the very first
chest – From wouldn’t make the very
first chest a mimic, right? – the very
first chest, is a mimic.
Crystal Lizards are
FromSoftware’s most patronising
trap, comparable to the cheap thrill of
finding a coin in the middle of a busy
street. Because they drop valuable
crafting materials (and are so very
shiny), chasing the lizards on sight is
instinct for gullible players. Following
a Crystal Lizard into an abyssal pit or
deadly ambush is From’s regular
reminder that we can’t outpace base
curiosity and avarice.
CHEEKY RED HERRING
Most cruel of all is the Pendant, an
item players can choose at the start of
a new game in Dark Souls. The item
description is earnest, “A simple
pendant with no effect.” But because
the Souls games are stuffed with
secrets and arcane processes, players
couldn’t accept that a starting item
was totally useless. Players
experimented with
it endlessly for months, only for
FromSoftware’s president and
creative lead Hidetaka Miyazaki to
confirm that it’s useless in an
interview with IGN. That’s one hell
of a cheeky red herring.
And then there’s Patches, a
seemingly omnipotent prankster
character that, despite his shrill
laugh, always asks for the players
trust only to betray them. In the
original Dark Souls, he knocks you off
a bridge. In Dark Souls 3, Patches
kicks you into a pit with a grumpy
giant. It’s the same until Dark Souls
3 ’s final DLC, The Ringed City,
where an amnesiac Patches steps out
of his role as prankster spirit. As his
memory returns, a familiar cutscene
plays when he prods you towards
some precariously perched treasure.
But this time, the treasure is there,
trap-free, and he dips beforeDark Souls 2 had
some pretty
amusing armour.