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July 2020 | REDONLINE.CO.UK‘Becoming a mum was the only thing I knew
I definitely wanted when I was growing up, but the
image I had never involved me being a working
mum and that’s been the biggest challenge. I’ve
been riddled with guilt about getting that part
wrong. You love them so much and you don’t want
to mess them up. The truth is, I didn’t do the
drop-off on Harry’s or Belle’s first day of school
because I was working. I hate that I wasn’t there
because those are memories you can’t get back.
But I’ve realised the only way that I can combat
those feelings is to accept that sometimes I don’t get
it right – and that’s fine. And I’m lucky that I can be
there every day to pick them up and at weekends.
The boys are both football-obsessed, as is Dan, so
his weekends are filled with taking them training,
while Belle and I have lots of lovely girl time. She’s
desperate to get a dog and I haven’t buckled yet, so
we borrow other people’s dogs and take them for
walks. That time is incredibly precious to me.’‘Parenting is hard, there’s no doubt about it;
nothing can ever prepare you for how exhausting it
is. It helps that Dan and I are very aligned
when it comes to how we do it. We try to split all the
responsibilities equally – the kids have absolutely no
idea that there needs to be a feminist movement or
that sexism is even a thing because they don’t see
it – but we’re also pretty firm parents, which in
many ways has been our saviour. Since the kids
were very small, we’ve set quite solid boundaries in
terms of what they can and can’t do. And while we
all still have our moments (me included!), it’s meant
that the time we have together now is better because
we’re not constantly trying to iron out problems.
Of course there are things I could do better; I’m
trying desperately not to have my phone on so much
and I’m useless at helping with the kids’ homework.
I’m trying to help Harry with maths at the moment
and I’m having to watch Carol Vorderman on
YouTube to work out what on earth is going on!
We’re not perfect parents, but it’s our way of doing
things. And when I sit back and watch them
entertain each other, I think, “We’re doing okay.”’Set boundaries
for your kids from
the startLet go of the
parenting guilt‘Being a mum was the thing I definitely wanted’
From top left:
seeing in the
New Year
on the beach;
Holly likes to
keep her family
private