Anotheranxiety influencer in modern life
isthenumerousresourceswe have at our
fingertips. Whilethis wealthof information
canbe hugelybeneficial,itcanalsobe
ov erwhelmingwhenyou’vealreadygotso
muchhappeningin yourlife. ‘We’reconstantly
switchedon;we’realwayswatching,listening
andreading. This meanswe rarelyeverhave
spacein ourbrains.Yetthis calmandquiet
spaceis howwe’vehistoricallyprocessed
feelingsandemotions,so whentheseare
goingunprocessed,itmeanswe’renotreally
listeningor validatingourneedsandour
emotionsin theway we used to whenwe
hadmoreheadspace,’saysAnna.
‘Whenwe’reanxious, we feel emotionsthat
we don’t necessarilyneed to feel until those
situationshave cometo pass,’ says Anna.And
thiscanbeginto impact onyourexperience
of motherhood.‘For example,yourbaby
couldhave a rash andyou immediately
becomeanxious, imaginingthe worst
scenario.As a result,you have less
“space”to enjoy thegoodthingsin
yourlife, includingyour developing
relationshipwithyourchild.’
If this is thecasefor you,it’s
normalto wantto pretendthat
ev erythingis OKwhenit’s not.
‘Manyof us are tryingto adheretoa
Supermumideal,’says Anna,‘whenwe’re
actuallyfindinglifere allychallenging.We
think:“IfI makeit lookas thoughI’mcoping,
thenpeoplewon’tworryaboutme”,’ sheadds.
‘Thismeanswe’reignoringso many valuable
feelingsthat are completelyvalid,andwe put
furtherpressureon ourselvesto appear fine
whenwe couldreallydo withsomehelp.’
You mayfeel thatyou don’t wantto
bur denyourfamilyandfriends,when
actuallyyoushouldbe lettingpeopleknow
ho w you’refeelingandseekingouttheir
support.Doremember,askingfor help
doesn’t makeyou a badmum.In fact,we
reckonit makesyou prettyamazing!
Rather thanbeatingyourself up for feeling
thisway, it’s worthrememberingthere’sa very
goodreasonthatanxiety exists.Annasays:
‘Anxiety is a mechanismthat’s thereto keep
us safe;it’s there to causeus to reactquickly.
Sayyou wereholdingyourbaby andhe
suddenlyslipped,you’d get an immediate
rushof adrenalinethat wouldenable
youto actreallyquicklyandcatchhim.’
Andthat’s gotto be a goodthing!
Butit’ s thosetimes whenanxiety
kicksin when itisnotneeded,when
thingsgetcomplicated.‘We live in
ver y heightenedstates now, andour
bodieswe ren’tdesigned to be in that
stat e consistently.Anxiety is there
forshort,sharp bursts,likewiththeHead
outside
‘Spendingtimein naturereduces
feelingsof anxiety,stressand
depression.Theotherday, afterbeing
indoorswritingwhilejugglingkids,
I dashedoutfora quickten-minutestride
aroundtheblockassoonasmy husband
camehome. My mindwentfromfuzzyto
re freshed.So, get yourtrainerson,
st icksomeupliftingmusicora
podcastonyourphone, and
getoutthere.’Check
yourcaffeine
‘It’simportantto know thatcaffeine
triggersthereleaseof adrenalineand
st imulatesthenervoussystem.It’s the
samehormonebehindthefight orflight
re sponsethatyouexperiencewith anxiety,’
says Anna.‘Keepaneyeonhow youfeel
whenyou’vehadcaffeine.Seeif you
recogniseanincreasein anxious
thoughtsorfeelingsafterwards,
oronthedaysyouhavemore. If
younoticea link, thenyoumay
needto reduceorhaltyour
caffeineintake.’Ditch
DrGoogle
‘Becarefulwhere yougoto
searchforanswers.DrGoogleis not
yourfriend, andforumsforsymptom
checkingare not helpful,asthereare so
manydifferentresponses.Instead,
speakto anexperienced,trusted
friendorfamilymember, oruse
validresourcessuchtheNHSto
ensureyou’regoingto the
rightplaces.’Count
‘Countingbackfrom
100 in threesis a great
way to stopyourselffrom
over-thinkingandto shutthe
doorona negativecycleof
thoughts.Nobodycancount
backfrom100sin threesand
atthesametimeimagine
catastrophic
scenarios!’Just
breathe
‘Breathingtechniquesare brilliant
foraddressingthesymptomsof anxiety,
andhelpingto calmyournervoussystem.
It saysto yourbody: “Everythingis OK.You
arenot underthreat.”Usethistechnique
wheneveryoufeelstressedorfrustrated:
breathein steadilyforfourcountsthrough
yournose,right downintoyourtummy.
Now breatheoutthroughyourmouth to
thecountof eight. Startwith four
repetitions,increasingasyou
feelmore confident.’cavemanprotectinghis family,’ says
Anna.‘However,in modern life, we seem
to live inperpetualstates of fear, because
we are over-thinkinghabituallyand
ov erstimulatingourselves,so that
oursubconsciousactsas thoughwe’re
constantlybeingthreatened.This is why
there’s that heightenedfeelingall the
time,andwhy we struggleto sleep we’ve
gotso much adrenalineandcortisol
runningaroundourbodies.’
Soif youaresuffering
fromanxiety, how canyou
begintostarttoease
thesethoughts?Anna
says:‘Oftenwhenwe
feelanxious, our6
ways to ease
anxiety...FEELING ANXIOUS?90 | June 2020 | motherandbaby.co.uk