over-the-top Halloween way. More in
the way of political unrest and a loss
of faith in governance. There’s also
Black Night by Deep Purple, maybe
because dark, gothy color palettes
and night are spooky?
Shakira’s She Wolf is more
interesting. It is ostensibly about
werewolves, but, look, the werewolf
is a metaphor for sexual agency and
freedom. It’s a lot like Dracula, but
instead of trying to put an end to all
the sucking and seducing, Shakira’s
like, “Mate, I’ve got a radar to track
down eligible dudes and the
emergency services on speed dial in
case it gets so hot it catches fire.” She
Wolf is also a total CHOON.
FURTHER COMPLAINTS
I suspect that embracing a playful riff
on folklore was less important to the
selection process for Monster
Halloween Hits than the fact it has
the word ‘Wolf ’ in the title. It is on
the same CD as Creep, and the
only reason I can see for choosing
Creep as a Monster Halloween Hit
is that creep is part of the word
‘creepy’. This logic also would help
explain Poison by Alice Cooper.
Actually, it wouldn’t.
My beef with Ding Dong! The
Witch Is Dead is a little more
nuanced. Ding Dong! The Witch is
Dead is about a witch, and witches
are a Halloween staple. So far, so
logical. But Ding Dong! is from The
Wizard of Oz. It’s about a very
specific witch being killed in
extremely specific circumstances, i.e.
being crushed to death under a
gallivanting house. The commercial
and party-focused strands of
Halloween are not so much about
eradicating witches as plastering
them over everything.
The only thing I can think of here
is that in the movie, the singing of the
song is overseen by Glinda the Good
Witch, so maybe there’s an ambient
non-squashed witch in the song’s
general orbit. I will, however, point
out that Glinda dresses more like a
tooth fairy or the kind of doll with a
massive skirt your grandparents
might use in the bathroom to hidePHIL PAID MONEY FOR AN
ALBUM CALLED MONSTER
HALLOWEEN HITSspare rolls of toilet paper, and is not
anything remotely Halloweeny.
What it all comes down to is that
there doesn’t seem to be any form of
curation here. A compilation done
right feels coherent. It feels like it’s
either worth listening to the songs in
order, or that it offers a
comprehensible tone which can
withstand being put on shuffle.
Monster Halloween Hits avoids both.
If one were to, for example, crack it
out for use at some definitely
non-fictional Halloween party at
one’s stepdad’s pub, you’d be signing
up to spend the entire evening with a
finger hovering over the skip button.
This is why no one owns music
nowadays. We saw Monster
Halloween Hits and decided that life
was too short for these shenanigans.
Well, everyone except Phil. Phil
decided that this was exactly the
lifestyle he was going to embrace. A
life with Ding Dong! The Witch Is
Dead and no Things That Go Bump
In The Night.
I guess what I am trying to say
here is that this Reinstall of
Monster Halloween Hits was a
complete disaster.
Audiosurf is fine.Feed My Frankenstein
is very NSFW.EXTRA LIFE
NOW PLAYING (^) I UPDATE I REINSTALL (^) I WHY I LOVE I MUS T P L A Y