something different and recreating a
beloved formula.
37 HOURS TIL SHUTDOWN
Sleep, and dreams. At some stage a
pool of blood spreads in my
nightmares, just like Blackpaw’s.
29 HOURS TIL SHUTDOWN
It’s not just par times we’ve given up
on now, but our zero tolerance policy
for orcs in the portal. It doesn’t feel
good. This arbitrary goal has stripped
away the pride we’ve always taken in
our orc-stopping architecture.
Ordinarily in this game, you can
confidently stride onto a bridge,
declare “You shall not pass” and
mean it – knowing that you’ve got
infinite tries to get it right. But now,
finally, we’re running out of goes.
24 HOURS TIL SHUTDOWN
It can’t be done. At least, not by us. In
earlier Orcs Must Die! games, the
strength of your heroes was fixed,
and increased power came from new
traps and their combos. But in
Unchained, everything levels up.
Heroes gain XP, which boosts their
damage output and defence.
When we were five-starring
levels, the difficulty curve had felt
gentle – but now we’re settling for
less, it’s leaving us breathless and
frustrated. It doesn’t matter that
we’re coating orcs with fuel before
they walk into the brimstone pits.
Nor that I’m firing the blunderbuss of
Brass, my dwarven engineer, right
between the eyes of my enemies.
Despite our best efforts, weakened
orcs are still getting through, and it’s
alive as they saunter onto the map.
Then, barricades allow us to
consolidate three lanes into one,
where Brass’ turret and mines deal
with the remaining stragglers.
Orcs Must Die! at its best is a
creative act – nobody else will have
solved this problem in quite the same
way, nor built exactly what we have.
Then it’s all wiped away, like a chalk
drawing on a pavement in the rain,
and we start it all over again,
determinedtodoit better.15 MINUTESPAST
SHUTDOWN
It’sMonday,andmyfriendhasgone
backtowork,butI’vedecidedthisis
myjobnow.Theserversareofficially
closed,andonlya handfulofplayers
remaininglobalchat.“Isthisheaven
now?”,oneasks.“Arewedead?”
Anothertriesopeningtheclient
ona secondPC– nodice.Weknow
thatwhenwelogout,wewon’tbe
abletogetbackin.“I’mgonnastay
onuntiltheypulltheplug,”someone
says.“Onelasttripdowngiblane?” I
joinhimfora finalrun.Itfeelsmuch
thesameasanyother.Exceptthis
time,whenthetrapsarewipedaway,
thegamegoeswiththem.because we’re now five or six tiers
below the recommended level.
It’s a problem indicative of the
change online games have undergone
in the last five years. Unchained bears
all the obvious hallmarks of a hobby
game: coffee shop-style rewards for
coming back, daily and weekly
objectives for killing particular
bosses, target quotas for orc-killing.
It’s designed to occupy a consistent
spot in our lives for months, if not
years– certainlynottoberattledthroughinthespaceofa weekend.
By attemptingthismission,we’re
workingagainstthefundamental
cadenceofthegame.18 HOURSTILSHUTDOWN
ThebesttributewecanpaytoOrcs
MustDie!Unchainedinitsfinal
hours,wedecide,is toplayit theway
we alwayshave.OnSundaynightwe
havemorefunthanwe’vehadall
weekend,cherry-pickingthemaps
we’veblazedpastbutthinkwecan
perfect.Thelibrarylevelturnsoutto
be afascinatingchallenge– tomeet
partimewehavetounscrewthe
trapsfromtheshelvesandgluethem
to thefloorsinstead,burningtheorcsTOP: Flip traps are
a favourite for
amateur physicists.
RIGHT: Brass was a
highlight of the last
expansion.DESP
OUR BESTEFFORTS,
WEAKENED ORCS ARER
STILL GETTING THROUGH
Orcs Must Die!
FEATURE