- BETROTHAL
Betrothal is called tunangan or pinangan. When the parents of a marriageable
youth perceive a suitable “match” for their son, they send a messenger to her
parents to ask if she has yet been “bespoken” (kalau ada orang sĕbut). If the
reply is satisfactory, the messenger is again despatched to intimate the desire of
the youth’s parents to “bespeak” the hand of the favoured individual for his son,
and to arrange a day for a meeting. These preliminaries are accompanied by the
usual polite self-depreciation on both sides. Thus, the girl’s father begins by
saying, “You wish to bespeak the hand of my daughter, who knows neither how
to cook nor how to sew” (yang ta’tahu masak, ta’tahu mĕnjait). But the custom
is not carried to such extremes as it is in China.^68
The girl’s parents next call four or five witnesses (saksi) of either sex to
“witness” the betrothal, and after preparing a meal (nasi dan kueh) for their
expected guests, await the arrival of the youth’s “Representatives,” the youth
himself remaining at home. One of the party carries a betel-leaf tray furnished
with the usual betel-chewing appliances, together with half a bhara of dollars
($11) according to the stricter custom; although (failing the dollars), a ring or
bracelet, or other jewellery of that value, may be substituted.