father, “I wed you, A., to B., daughter of C., for a portion of two bharas.” To
this the bridegroom has to respond without allowing an interval, “I accept this
marriage with B., for a portion of two bharas” (or one bhara if one of the parties
has been married before). Even this short sentence, however, is a great deal too
much for the nerves of some Malay bridegrooms, who have been known to
spend a couple of hours in abortive attempts before they could get the Imām to
“pass” it. As soon, however, as this obstacle has been surmounted, the priest
asks those present if they will bear witness to its correctness, and on their
replying in the affirmative, it is followed by the “bacha salawat,” which consists
of repeated shouts from the company of “Peace be with thee.” This part of the
ceremony completed, one of the brothers or near relations of the bridegroom
leads him into the bridal chamber, and seats him in the usual cross-legged
position on the left side of the bride, who sits with her feet tucked up on his
right. Even the process of seating the couple (bĕrsanding) is a very fatiguing
one; each of them has to bend the knees slowly until a sitting posture is reached,
and then return to a standing posture by slowly straightening the knees, a
gymnastic exercise which has to be repeated thrice, and which requires the
assistance of friends.^90
The seating having been accomplished, friends put in the right hands of bride
and bridegroom respectively handfuls of rice taken from the nasi sĕtakona; with
this the two feed each other simultaneously, each of them reaching out the hand
containing the rice to the other’s mouth. (This part of the ceremony is often
made the occasion for a race.)
The bridegroom is then carried off by his friends to the outer chamber, where he
has to pay his respects (minta’ maʿaf, lit. “ask pardon”) to the company, after
which he is carried back to his old post, the bride in the meantime having moved
off a little in the mosquito curtain.
The sweetmeats are then brought and handed round, the sĕtakona is broken up,
and the bundles of rice wrapped in plantain leaves which it contains distributed
to the company as largess or bĕrkat. Each of the company gets one of the tĕlor
chachak, the tĕlor joran being reserved for the Imām and any person of high
rank who may attend, e.g. a Raja.^91
This completes the wedding ceremony, but the bridegroom is nominally
expected to remain under the roof (and eye) of his mother-in-law for about two