206 English Grammar Demystifi ed
Written Practice 9-15
Read the following paragraph. Look for and correct unnecessary words, illogical
statements, and unbalanced sentences in the fi rst four sentences.
The Presidential Medal of Freedom it is awarded each year by the President. Even
though it is important, it is the highest civilian award in the United States. People who
served in WWII were honored fi rst in 1945 by Harry Truman and John F. Kennedy
was reviving the medal in 1963 on or near July Fourth when it became a yearly tradi-
tion to give it. There were two doctors, one congressman, a retired general, a univer-
sity chancellor, and a judge were honored in 2008 by President George W. Bush.
Writing Balanced Sentences—a Reminder
Chapter 7 explained balanced sentences, and they deserve a second look under the
topic of style and clarity. A balanced sentence contributes to clarity because related
ideas, actions, and descriptions take the same form. When a sentence fl ows smoothly
from beginning to end, it is balanced.
Remember that clarity relates to accessibility. When a sentence lacks balance, it
is clearly not as accessible to the reader. At the least, unparallel sentences almost
always force a reader to reread the sentence. How accessible are the ideas in the fol-
lowing sentences?
The candidate thanked them for their loyalty, dedication, and because they were
willing to work overtime.In this sentence, you read the two nouns, loyalty and dedication (objects of the
preposition for), and you rightfully expected a third one. But it’s not there. Instead,
the writer switched to a clause, because they were willing to work overtime. How
can you take the idea of that clause and change it to a noun? Try this:
The candidate thanked them for their loyalty,dedication, and willingness to
work overtime.As you can see, changing the verb were willing to the noun willingness restored
parallel form to the sentence.
Now turn from nouns to adjectives, and see how they are written in parallel
form.
Incorrect: My new computer is faster, more powerful, and it’s more fl exible.
Correct: My new computer is faster, more powerful, and more fl exible.