6 1GT Thursday December 3 2020 | the times
times
Dogs, drinks and dining out: 2020
The Royal Statistical Society’s annual number-crunching exercise
reveals how much we’ve changed this year. By Damian Whitworth
I
t was the worst of times, it was
the worst of times. What a
terrible year it has been, and
the statistics do not lie. A not
very astonishing 99.999 per cent
of us have had our fill of Covid
and want to see the back of 2020
(the other 0.001 per cent are
freshly minted PPE millionaires).
Ninety per cent of the population
now know where Barnard Castle is,
but 98 per cent would not have a pint
with Dominic Cummings. While not
drinking with him we might have one
of the 3.8 billion Scotch eggs that will
be eaten in the run-up to Christmas.
It is conceivable that 100 per cent
of those statistics are completely made
up by me. But fortunately the Royal
Statistical Society (RSS) has compiled
its nominations for statistics of the
year, which provide a much more
reliable snapshot of our annus covidius.
If civilisation collapses at some date
in the future — like in Robert Harris’s
novel of last year, The Second Sleep —
and we are left with only very hazy
memories of this time, a few pictures
and the RSS’s stats of the year, what
on earth would our descendants think
had happened in this year?
Who were these people who, in
the space of one week in March,
suddenly started buying absurd
amounts of toilet paper? Had some
awful gastroenterological disaster
gripped the nation’s bowels? Or was
this, one future historian might
surmise, just silly and totally
unnecessary panic-buying triggered
by a crisis of some kind? Aha, future
historian, you do understand the
idiocies of human nature. I hope
you’ve stopped behaving like that.
So exactly how much more cash
did we evacuate at supermarkets in
a desperate quest to ensure that no
bottom would go unwiped? Well, I
will give you one tiny clue for thisquiz: it was not a mere 10 per cent
increase in toilet roll sales.
Financial historians may ask if the
emptying of piggy banks to pay for
bog roll led to the government
subsidising millions and millions of
meals out. How many millions? Take
a guess. A sizeable minority — but
only a minority — also said they
drank more over lockdown.
Meanwhile, how to account for
a seeming dog shortage? Between
March and June the average price of a
dachshund shot up by — how much?
A lot, whichever figure you pick.
Social historians may wonder why
so many dog owners started to
look so much less well
groomed than their pets,
appearing in photos
with shaggy hairstyles
or ineptly shaven
skulls. One of the
revelations that has
emerged from the
closure of hairdressers,
however, was the surprisingly
large minority who were
cutting their own hair before
the pandemic began.
When we weren’t playing
with our new pets we spent
hours watching television
and streaming videos.
The average in the first
month of lockdown was
somewhere between
1 hour 29 minutes and
3 hours and 5 minutes.
Perhaps in the next few
months of darkness it will
be higher.
One of the hits of the
second lockdown has been
The Crown, which next year
will have a new Queen
when Imelda Staunton
takes the role. If you’re
not sure what toexpect, an AI analysis has rated her
suitability for the role between 38 and
91.2 per cent. Perhaps the system could
be used to assess the likely competence
of Brexit negotiators.
A survey found that a good majority
of the public knew that they should
wash their hands for 20 seconds. Here
the government’s messaging seems to
have worked. With vaccines on the
way, the government will need to
advise people to get a jab, hope that
they hear the advice, then hope that
they heed it. And if the percentage is
similar to those who got the hand-
washing message, will that be enough?
One group who might persuade
people is the one we listen to more
than others; 93 per cent of the public
say they trust these people to tell
the truth. But which of the
following are they? Professors,
who have been supplying the
science to beat the pandemic;
the doctors who treat us; the
nurses who care for us;
or the teachers educating
our children?
Millions of the rest of us
have become home workers
and seen our routines changed
in ways that were unthinkable
this time last year. I can give
you the statistics on this
myself, and these are true.
My cat has spent 100 per
cent of the time it has taken
to write this article sitting
on my lap or staring at me
from three inches away with
paws touching the keyboard.
That is 50 per cent adorable
and 50 per cent awkward
and annoying. If only 2020
had been like that.
The winning statistics
of the year will be
announced on
December 18The pandemic year
- Sales of toilet paper
rose by how much
year-on-year for the
week ending March 8?
a. 10 per cent
b. 85 per cent
c. 60 per cent
d. 45 per cent
Source: Kantar - The average price for
a dachshund increased
by how much during
the first lockdown,
between March
and June?
a. 89 per cent
b. 67 per cent
c. 33 per cent
d. 48 per cent
Source: Dogs Trust - What
percentage of
households in
Britain have no
access to a private
or shared garden?
a. 12 per cent
b. 21 per cent
c. 33 per cent
d. 6 per cent
Source: ONS - When asked in a
survey at the end of
March if they were
planning to cut their
hair at home after the
closure of barbers and
hairdressers, how many
people said they cut
their own hair anyway?
a. 9 per cent
b. 28 per cent
c. 3 per cent
d. 15 per cent
Source: YouGov survey
6. According to new
research, space for
allotments has fallen
by how much since
their peak during the
1940s and 1960s?
a. 79 per cent
b. 30 per cent
c. 15 per cent
d. 65 per cent
Source: University of
Sheffield
Source: University of
Sheffield- How many
households in Britain
have access to the
internet, according
to the latest Office
for National
Statistics figures?
a. 89 per cent
b. 50 per cent
c. 96 per cent
d. 99 per cent
Source: ONS