how to Become a Better Listener 5.3 73
How to Become a Better Listener
5.3 Identify and implement strategies for becoming a better listener.
Now that we have examined barriers to effective listening and have suggested
a few strategies to overcome those barriers and be both a better listener and a
better speaker, we offer additional strategies for improving your listening skills.
Specifically, we’ll help you listen with your eyes, we’ll help you be a mindful
listener, and we’ll note specific behaviors that can help you listen skillfully.Listen with Your Eyes as Well as Your Ears
To listen with your eyes is to be attuned to the unspoken cues of a speaker.
Nonverbal cues play a major role in communicating a message. One expert has
estimated that as much as 93 percent of the emotional content of a speech is
conveyed by nonverbal cues.^8 Even though this statistic does not apply in every
situation, emotion is communicated primarily by unspoken messages. To “listen
with your eyes,” you need to accurately interpret what you see while ensuring
that you don’t allow yourself to be distracted by it, even if a speaker has poor
delivery.ACCURATELY INTERPRET NONVERBAL MESSAGES Because the nonverbal
message plays such a powerful role in affecting how you respond to a speaker,
it’s important to accurately interpret what a speaker is expressing nonverbally.
Use these techniques to help you decode nonverbal messages:- Look at the speaker’s face and gestures. A speaker’s facial expressions will help
you to identify the emotions being communicated; a speaker’s posture and
gestures often reinforce the intensity of the emotion.^9 - Look at the context. When interpreting an unspoken message, consider the
situation you and the speaker are in. - Look for clusters of cues. Don’t just focus on one nonverbal cue. Instead, look
for several nonverbal cues to increase the accuracy of your interpretation. - Look for cues that communicate liking, power, and responsiveness. Eye contact,
facial expression, and body orientation can often express how much
someone likes us. We note people’s degree of power or influence over
us by the way they dress, how much space they have around them, and
whether they are relaxed or tense. People who perceive themselves as
having more power than those around them are usually more relaxed.
To observe whether someone is interested or focused on you, note that
person’s level of eye contact and his or her head nods, facial expressions,
and tone of voice.
If you have trouble understanding a speaker, either because he or she speaks
too softly or because he or she speaks in an unfamiliar dialect, get close enough
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