116 • 8 ISLAMIC CIVILIZATIONupheld the Shari'a was better than in those that watered it down or aban¬
doned it totally and was much, much better than the treatment of Jews in
medieval Christendom, czarist Russia, or Nazi Germany.
As for social divisions based on gender, Islam (like most religions that
grew up in the agrarian age) is patriarchal and hence gives certain rights
and responsibilities to men that it denies to women. Muslims believe that
biology has dictated different roles for the two sexes. Men are supposed to
govern states, wage war, and support their families; women are to bear and
rear children, manage their households, and obey their husbands. Tradi¬
tional history tells little about women; a few took part in wars and govern¬
ments, wrote poems, or had profound mystical experiences, but most
played second fiddle to their husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons. Often
they had more influence than the traditional histories admit.IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY LIFEAs you may have guessed, the family played a central role in early Islamic
society. Marriages were arranged by the parents or by the oldest living rel¬
atives of the potential couple, for it was understood that a marriage would
tie two families together or tighten the bonds between two branches of the
same house. Marriages between cousins were preferred because they
helped keep the family's property intact. Muslims assumed that love be¬
tween a man and a woman would develop once they were married and
had to share the cares of maintaining a household and rearing children.
Romantic love did arise between unmarried persons, but it rarely led to
marriage. The freedom of Muslim men to take additional wives (up to a
total of four) caused some domestic strife, but many an older wife rejoiced
when her husband took a younger one who could better bear the strains of
frequent pregnancy and heavy housework. The "harem" of the Western
imagination was rare. Only the rich and powerful man could afford to
support the four wives allowed him by the Quran (provided he treated
them equally); many poor men could not afford any, as the groom had to
pay a large dowry. Islamic law made divorce easy for husbands and diffi¬
cult for wives, but in practice divorce was rare, because the wife was per¬
mitted to keep the dowry. A Muslim marriage contract might discourage
divorce by specifying that the groom must present a part of the dowry to
his bride at once and the rest only if he later divorced her.
As for intergenerational ties, parents expected (and got) the unquestion¬
ing obedience of their sons and daughters, even after they had grown up.
Once a woman married, she had also to defer to her husband's parents.