Andtherearenot-quite-celebrations
whenwealmostalwaysmissthe
moment,likewhenwebuya house
orgeta promotion.Biglifemilestones
thatshouldbemarked,we’retold,
witha Champagnecorkpoppingand
a roomfulofgleefulfamiliarfaces.But
intruth,I’veneverreallycelebrated
a professionalachievementtheway
theydoinSexandtheCity,Friendsor
anotherreliabledocumentaryabout
modernlife.Bythetimea newjob
contractfinallyarrives,endingweeks
ormonthsofuncertainty,I’mbusy
panickingaboutmyfirstweekinthe
newrole,orbeatingmyself
upfornotaskingfor
a biggerraise.
I’vebeenmarginally
betterat celebratingother
people’sbirthdays,new
jobs,newhomesand
otherminortriumphs,
buteventhen,it’srare
thata “celebration”doesn’t
fallshort;oftenbecauseit
failstoliftusoutofour
routine.A celebratory
bottleofwineisn’treally
a celebrationif wehadonethenight
before.Anda birthdaydinnerat a
restaurantwegotoeverymonthjust
won’tstandoutinourmemorybanks.
Atsomepointinthelatterdecades
ofthe20thcentury,welosttheartof
celebration.Webecametooaccustomed
toeverydayabundancetonoticethe
milduptickinourindulgencelevels
at a supposedcelebration.Webecame
toobusyandfrantictoengage
emotionallywithwhatit is we’remeant
tobecelebrating.Socialmediaplayed
itspart,too;it becamemoreimportant
todocumentourselvesenjoyingan
event than to actually enjoy the event;contentment,relieforevensorrow,
whateverthecelebrationrequires.
Weneedtotastethepresentmoment,
feelthepresentmoment,hearthe
presentmoment.Celebratingis
aboutwallowinginthenow,like
a warmJacuzzi.
Celebratingis notaneasything
todoif you’rea 21st-centuryhuman.
Mylifewasnotshortoflavish
experiencesandpleasantsensations,
buteventhoughI triedtocallthem
celebrations,andInstagrammed
themassuch,I justwasn’tmoving
slowlyenoughtotruly celebrate.
Themost
obvioustype
ofnot-quite-
celebrationsare
thosethatwind
upfeelinglike
anothernotch
onourendless
to-dolist.Last
year,I hadfour
boozyChristmas
partiesina row.
Bytheendofthe
weekI wasviewing
thesesocialobligationsmuchlike
a dentist’sappointment;moments
toploughthroughbutcertainly
notsavour.
Therearenot-quite-celebrations
thatarejoylessbecauseofourown
anxieties,likethebirthdaydinner
I hosteda coupleofyearsago,which
I spentstewinginmyownworries
aboutit beinga failure.Allmypleasure
intheeveningwasretrospective,which
immediatelydisqualifiesaneventfrom
beinga celebration.If youthinkmy
birthdaysoundsbad,I havefriends
whocheerfullyadmitthey hated their
own wedding days.Thepastfew
monthshavebeen
somethingofa
celebrationdetox,
withlockdown
resemblinga strict
rehabfacilitywhere
I wastreatedfor
celebration abuse.Annais a traveland
lifestylejournalist,
andauthorofthe
travelmemoir
Departures.
@annadothartit’softenhardtodoboth.Throwin
theguiltdrummedupbythewellness
industry– guiltaboutthatglassof
Champagneorchocolatetruffle– and
celebratingwaspushedbeyondour
reachonmostoccasions.
Buttoday,thishaschanged.The
pastfewmonthshavebeensomething
ofa celebrationdetox,withlockdown
resemblinga strictrehabfacilitywhere
I wastreatedforcelebrationabuse
andabundancefatigue.Now,I’m
beingreleasedbackintotheworld
witha new,healthierrelationship
withcelebration.
Celebrationsaren’tanindulgence;
theyservea purpose.Smallmoments
ofcelebrationmakeuspauseandbe
mindful,andwhenwestoptosavour
thegoodstuffoflife,weprotect
ourselvesagainstthebad,buffering
oursouls,andbuildingresilience.
Celebrationsgiveussomethingtolook
forwardto.Andin2020,we could all
do with a bit of that.●GOURMET TRAVELLER 109ILLUSTRATION GETTY IMAGES.
The art of travel