FEBRUARY 2021 51Don’t buy fake citrus.
It has to be pasteur-
ized, which means
heated up. Hot lime
juice sounds horrible.
Even if it says it’s
fresh, it’s not.Don’t buy simple
syrup; make it your-
self. A cup of sugar
and water is about the
cheapest thing you
can get.Don’t buy a shaker set
unless you want to
impress your friends.
Use a jam jar, and
you’ll be fine.Don’t buy the cheap-
est spirits you can.
Distillation is an art
form. You can get
away with buying
moderately priced
vodka because, in a
lot of ways, expensive
vodka is just market-
ing. But don’t go for
the very cheapest
unless you want
a really horrible
hangover.Buy proper jiggers:
one that measures 1
and 2 ounces and one
that measures^1 / 2 and(^3) / 4 ounce.
“Shake it awake; don’t
rock it to sleep.” Put
your shaker over your
shoulder like you’re
going to throw a
football, and work up
to the rhythm of a gal-
loping horse.
Shake drinks with
juice in them to
aerate and froth
them. Gently—almost
silently—stir cock-
tails without juice to
keep them silky and
smooth. “Hold the
spoon like a pencil:
flat at 12 o’clock, pull
to six o’clock, and
push to 12. Every
sound is aeration and
turbulence in your
cocktail.”
I separated an egg
white, dropped it into
a shaker, and got a
warning from Ivy:
Egg whites expand.
“I’ve had many a bar
shift where egg
whites exploded all
over me,” she said.
called Flip Your Trade, which combined rum, whiskey, PX
sherry, coffee liqueur, and a whole egg. I left them outside
Aisha’s door and raced home so she could heckle me from the
psychological safety of my phone.
To my surprise, she liked my drinks. “Really, the big problem
was your knife skills. It looked like you tore off that lemon slice
with your hands,” she said. Also, the way I floated the bitters
on the foam did not meet with approval. “I thought,
‘What are all these red bits in it?’” she said. “It looked
like the Master Cleanse. Though every time I did the
Master Cleanse, I thought it would be far more enjoy-
able if it had tequila in it.”
Then the heckling really started. The Flip Your
Trade, she said, was the best version of “something
the Real Housewives order when they want to seem
classy. This will get me a death threat from a lady in
a tight dress, but there’s a class of people who order
a certain class of drinks—Cosmopolitans and espresso
martinis.” But my initial objection to cocktails, she
said, was correct. The cocktails Aisha likes best are
strictly combinations of alcohols to create a new fla-
vor: Negronis, Manhattans, martinis. “If you’re in a bar and
someone asks what you like, just say ‘I like spirit-forward cock-
tails.’ Then you can say ‘bitter’ or ‘sour’ or ‘subtle.’ You wouldn’t
say ‘sweet’ because you’re not a 7-year-old.”
I’ve taken Aisha’s advice, having a refreshing cucumber-
infused martini and a delightful Negroni before dinner. But
more than once, after dinner, I’ve made that Flip. The good thing
is that as long as I don’t take a photo, no one can judge me.
COCKTAIL TIPS
FROM IVY MIX
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